Our love of intimate weddings and after parties started back in 2020. It’s an approach to weddings I absolutely adore: meaningful ceremonies with closest family and friends, followed at a later date by epic celebrations. Katie and Jonathan did this beautifully, realising after they’d had their civil wedding that they loved the idea of hosting an unforgettable celebration in a contemporary space in London. Having just 6 weeks to plan everything, they turned to luxury Jewish wedding planner Elegante by Michelle J to curate and plan their dream wedding!
The Engine Rooms is far from your typical wedding venue – but it does have character. By day the showroom is filled with classic cars. By night, it transforms to a wedding and party space for up to 350 guests – perfect for Katie and Jonathan’s Jewish wedding celebrations.
Transforming a blank canvas venue into a wedding space is never easy, and in this case, hiring an experienced, lovely, and highly-recommended wedding planner was a must. (Katie and Jonathan had already booked Totem for their wedding entertainment and Adam Nathan as their catering company, both of whom recommended Jewish wedding planner Michelle Jacobs.) Michelle did a beautiful job bringing floral styling and luxury details to soften the venue’s aesthetics and give it a dusky, modern wedding feeling. Michelle also sourced their wonderful photographer Claudine Hartzel.
Michelle created a floorplan that incorporated each of the event spaces and made each area feel as though it flowed into the next. “We also had a production team to make the space feel curated and designed with staging, lighting and dance floor. Production is an important part of any immersive experience, no matter the size.” – Michelle Jacobs, Elegante by Michelle J.
How to plan a wedding in 6 weeks
“When asked about how to plan a wedding in 6 weeks, my advice would be this: although your lead time is shorter, don’t treat the complexity and detail of the day any differently than you would a big wedding planned over a full year. If you are daunted by the prospect of pulling everything together in a short time frame and already have the majority of your suppliers booked, but want some expert support in the form of wedding planning consultancy, the Elegante Piccolo service was designed for you. Don’t be intimidated by the weight of it all: invest in expert support, and no one will ever know your event hasn’t been months in the planning.” ~ Michelle Jacobs
- Elegante By Michelle J
- The Engine Rooms Event Spaces
- Claudine Hartzel Photography
- Blue Sky Flowers
- Totem Superstars
- Options Greathire
- Adam Nathan Catering
- The Happy Chuppah People
- HSH Productions
First time planning a wedding? Yep – pretty much everyone’s working all this out as they go along, so you’re absolutely not alone! Diving into a world of catering and styling, planning and logistics can be insane – but keeping on top of your plans will stop the overwhelm. Having a great relationship with your suppliers is really important, and communication is everything. Here’s how to talk to your wedding suppliers – from jargon to problem-solving, budgets and more.
Honesty, transparency and openness
Don’t be nervous to talk to your wedding suppliers as you want them to talk to you! I can feel a bit nervous sometimes when I’m asking an expert about their work – whether they’re a floral stylist, wedding photographer or planner. Having conversations on an equal footing means you can talk honestly – as if to a friend. Having that balance, and an equal relationship with your suppliers, will make your wedding planning so much smoother. So sound out your suppliers before you book! If you feel comfortable, they’ll be a great part of your team.
Top tip: don’t book suppliers at a wedding show. The overwhelm and adrenalin of the day is real. Everyone feels under pressure, including vendors! Choose your suppliers or shortlist on the day, but have a conversation after the event where you’ll both be more relaxed, and more yourselves. You can book after that!
All images in this blog are from Jemma Khan Studio, captured by Jono Symonds Photography
Share your wedding priorities with suppliers
Be open about your priorities – what’s important to the two of you as a couple, and what you’re really not bothered about! For example, if you want natural and candid wedding photography, or if you need a venue where your guests can relax, rather than a formal wedding vibe – be up front. If you have awkward questions (or questions you’re nervous to ask) get them out in the open. Chances are, your suppliers have heard them before and can reassure you.
The biggie: let’s talk wedding budgets
I reached out to luxury destination wedding planner Michelle Jacobs for advice on this one. She told me, “Trust and transparency go hand in hand during wedding planning, from the stage before booking all the way up to the big day. One area this is particularly important is around budget – we know it can be an awkward topic for some couples.”
“Whenever I ask about budget it’s not to be provocative. I like to have a frank conversation with every couple before they book, surrounding what their expected budget is and what we can create for that budget. I’ve been planning weddings in the UK and Europe for many years, and so can give couples a good idea of what their money will get them in different places. This 2-way communication ensures that my couples get the best experience and that we can exceed expectations – and this all starts with honesty, expertise and clear communication.”
All images in this blog are from Jemma Khan Studio, captured by Jono Symonds Photography
Choose your wedding suppliers wisely
I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to choose your suppliers well. Always make a joint decision on who you want to book for your day – especially those who’ll be around all day (photographers, videographers, caterers, entertainment etc.) Never pick wedding suppliers based on how their service looks. Choose for communication, professionalism, experience, reputation and GENUINE reviews.
Here’s an example: you might find the most amazing tailored suit or bespoke dress on social media, but when you reach out to the designer or boutique, they’re a bit ‘off’. You adore the look so much you book an appointment anyway, and go along – even though you’re a bit nervous. When you’re trying outfits on, you feel you have to be on best behaviour, or perhaps things feel rushed – but you adore the suit and it feels really high end. Should you book?
Talking’s important for wedding vendors too.
Before you contact any wedding supplier, remember they want to talk to you. They want to go through details, they want to hear your story and they want you to be as honest and open as you can be. It goes both ways. Great wedding suppliers will welcome your questions, encourage you to ask things you think are silly, and make you feel ok about asking whatever it is you need to. Things like wedding industry jargon can be confusing – things like candid vs natural photography styles, corkage (a classic!) and dry hire are baffling at first. Find suppliers who make you feel at ease so you can ask them to explain anything!
Two-way communication is everything!
Back in April I was talking to the UK’s number one wedding planner, Mark Niemierko. His down to earth advice is always a breath of fresh air.
“The single best thing a wedding planner can do for couples is to alleviate stress with amazing communication. Of course, as a planner I will always deliver an amazing wedding – logistically and creatively – but the most important thing which I learnt early on is to communicate. It’s really important to give couples peace of mind – even if something isn’t yet done, knowing you’re on it is everything.”
Where to talk to your wedding suppliers
As a wedding stationery designer and calligrapher, I’m used to hearing from couples by email, on instagram, by phone and text. I’m pretty sure this is the bare minimum, and other suppliers are also contactable on TikTok, Pinterest and even Facebook.
Before you lose track of who’s said what and where, focus on making it manageable. Talk to your wedding suppliers wherever is best for you! Having all your chats in one place will help. Having them scattered across the cloud is a one-way ticket to chaos. (And if you lose an important chat which isn’t backed up – nightmare!) Wedding Wire has some good advice about methods of contacting wedding suppliers – and how soon to expect a reply.
Top tip: write things down. Any special requests, preferences – anything. If you both have a written record, you can check back on your notes any time.
What if there’s a problem with one of your wedding suppliers?
So this can happen – it’s less likely if you’ve chosen your suppliers well, but the secret to resolving misunderstanding or conflict is to be open and honest. More advice on talking to wedding suppliers in tricky situations here: https://www.keptweddings.co.uk/difficult-wedding-suppliers-and-how-to-manage-them/
Don’t just take it from me – the best wedding suppliers want to prioritise communication.
Jemma Khan is a luxury florist for private estate weddings and marquees: “From our first conversation, I try to tune into what you really want, even if you don’t quite have the words for it yet. I’ll ask questions, listen to your story and quietly gather the pieces of your vision until it feels just right…Service is everything. My couples trust me not only to create beautiful flowers but to guide them through the process with care, clarity, and calm.”
Erika Tanith is a wedding photographer from Newcastle: “Communication is absolutely key, it’s the foundation for trust, comfort, and a truly tailored experience. The better I understand my couples and what matters most to them, the better I can capture their day in a way that feels uniquely theirs. From the very beginning, I aim to create an open, easy-going dialogue. I’m friendly, transparent, and always happy to share a bit of myself too, because I don’t believe in one-sided conversations. I want my couples to feel completely comfortable coming to me with their ideas, questions, and even last-minute changes. That connection is what helps me do my best work, and what turns a great service into something genuinely meaningful.”
Manchester wedding photographer Priti Shikotra told me: “Communication is so important – I can’t emphasise it enough. It really helps to build that rapport & relationship with couples when communication is on point. I take a step back & listen to couples tell me in detail about how they met, details for their wedding day & how are they feeling about it up until now. Often couples will follow on social media so I’ll follow back. It’s nice to have a glance into their lives even if it’s via Instagram stories for example as you can interact that way too. I let couples know they can expect a response within a time frame & for anything urgent they can of course ring or text me.”
Mel, luxury wedding planner at Your Story Events explains that for her, communication is part of building a relationship: “As a wedding planner we are in constant contact throughout, I guide and advise couples through the whole process. We have regular calls and meetings, a wedding planning whats app group and a wedding planning portal we use to keep everything in one place. I genuinely build such a lovely relationship with my couples, I miss them when the day is over! And for the majority we still send occasional messages and comments or DMs on instagram which I love.”
One of my shining stars in the wedding industry is lovely Ross Willsher Photography from Essex. He says, “Trust comes from open communication where everyone can be themselves and express themselves freely – as a photographer I want my couples to share their insecurities and fears as I have lots of techniques – both photographic and psychological – to improve confidence on camera. I think it’s important for suppliers to be explicit about how open they are to supporting their couples and to actively encourage and enable couples to approach and collaborate with them throughout the planning process. Of course there are limits, and during busy seasons suppliers cannot be on hand to answer calls and emails 24/7, but by building mutual trust and respect, couples and suppliers can work closely to create and incredible experiences.”
The loveliest advice from Lake District wedding photographer Mark Battista: “For me, communication is everything, especially when it comes to building trust. From the moment a couple gets in touch, I keep things relaxed and open — no pressure, no jargon. I’m always happy to chat things through, whether it’s about timings, nerves, or the best light for portraits.
It’s about being present, checking in when it matters, and making sure each couple feels genuinely looked after — not like just another date in the diary. That kind of care grows with experience, and in my view, it’s one of the biggest differences between someone who’s been doing this for years and someone who’s just finding their feet.”
A guest expert article from Elegante by Michelle J. Images by Claudine Hartzel Photography
As a destination wedding planner, more and more couples are coming to me to request a wedding weekend experience, here in the UK.
If you have ever attended a destination wedding overseas, you will no doubt have experienced the wonderfully warm and intimate atmosphere created because the couple and their guests get to spend several days together.
From the initial welcome drink on the arrival night, through to the post-wedding brunch or barbecue, the vibe is palpable and it’s something that can prove difficult to re-create for a one day wedding.
But it’s not always feasible to plan an overseas destination wedding. If, for example, you have elderly grandparents who would struggle to travel by plane, or if you feel that expecting your guests to expense an overseas trip is just too much to ask, you might want to consider a UK Wedding Weekend.
What is meant by a UK Wedding Weekend
There are venues here in the UK that can be hired for a weekend, or even a week. If you book such a location, you can invite your guests to join you from say Friday to Sunday, or even Monday and host a number of events and activities, with the wedding day itself being the main focus.
A UK Wedding Weekend will take a great deal more planning than a one day wedding, and might require a bigger budget due to the additional events and longer hire period, but you will be able to create a weekend that is both memorable and magical. Everyone you invite will be connected for a lifetime as a consequence of the few days they have all spent together. Without a doubt, lifelong friendships will be forged, shared memories will be formed and your wedding will be an occasion they will never forget.
UK Wedding Weekend Venues
There are countless hidden gems throughout the UK, but here are just a few of my favourites, all of which are available on an exclusive hire basis for weddings:
- Osea Island is a holiday island located just off the Essex coast and accessible via a tidal causeway. For four hours, twice a day, it is possible to get on and off the island. At all other times the island is surrounded by the sea, thereby creating a natural haven for you and your guests to enjoy https://www.oseaisland.co.uk/
- Wilderness Reserve in Suffolk is a 5000 acre private country estate with a collection of country houses, farmhouses and self-catering accommodation. Extra accommodation can be arranged in glamping tents. https://wildernessreserve.com/
- For a luxury experience, head to Aynhoe Park in Oxfordshire, which offers 28 bedrooms in this beautiful country house with plenty of other accommodation available locally. This quirky venue has some amazing indoor spaces, but it is also possible, for larger guest numbers, to erect a marquee in the beautiful grounds https://aynhoepark.co.uk/
- Iscoyd Park is another country house venue – this time in Shropshire – which works perfectly for a UK wedding weekend; you can find a feature on a wedding I planned there recently here on the English Wedding Blog https://english-wedding.com/2018/10/iscoyd-park-wedding-paulo-santos-photography/
- Askham Hall is the Lake District’s loveliest wedding venue – a tranquil, relaxed location with a charming Grade II listed barn. Your guests can take all of the rooms in the hall, with extra accommodation in the owners’ nearby properties.
- Lartington Hall, on the North Yorkshire and Durham borders, is timeless and elegant, offering private hire for weddings and weekends in an impossibly glamorous yet relaxed atmosphere. The idyllic parkland and super pretty gardens are perfect for summer entertaining.
Planning your UK wedding weekend
If a UK wedding weekend sounds like it could be for you, here are some tips and issues to think about:
- Think about the type of venue and the region of the country where you might like to host your wedding weekend; would you like a luxury hotel, or a self-catering holiday village? What about glamping – would you be comfortable asking all of your guests to join you for a weekend of “posh camping”? Do you want everyone to be on site with you, or would you be ok with some of your guests being hosted nearby in local hotels and B&Bs?
- Budget carefully for your wedding weekend; by incorporating additional events – for example a pre-wedding welcome dinner, post wedding day lunch, activities on the days prior to and following the wedding – you could be incurring significant additional costs. You might also need to build a marquee for the wedding itself, if the venue does not have a sufficiently large event space. But, your guest numbers are likely to reduce as those who are not particularly close to you (but you feel obliged to invite) are less likely to accept the invitation
- Plan your wedding day as you would a wedding to close to home, but remember if you have hosted an event the night before, you might not want to start too early; equally if you have no curfew you can party till late so a later ceremony time might be a good idea
- Think about placing a welcome gift and/or note in all of the accommodation so that your guests have something to greet them when they arrive; you might want to include information about the venue and a reminder of all of the events
- If the accommodation is self-catering, you might want to consider providing food hampers to cover the meals you are not providing as part of the wedding weekend, for example breakfasts
- I would definitely advise a wedding website for your wedding weekend, giving your guests all of the information they might need, including travel and accommodation arrangements; there are several wedding website providers, offering a selection of templates in different styles. Examples are https://www.appycouple.com/ and https://www.theknot.com/gs/wedding-websites
- As you are inviting your guests to join you for an entire weekend, make sure that you send out Save the Dates as soon as the date and venue are secured; that way you can ensure that those who you definitely want to be there with you will have blocked out the dates
- Finally, planning a wedding weekend can be rather complex logistically and you might want to consider hiring a wedding planner who specialises in destination weddings
If you would like to find out more about planning a UK wedding weekend, there is an entire section devoted to this type of wedding on my website https://elegantebymichellej.com/weekend-weddings/ and several of this type of wedding included in my portfolio https://elegantebymichellej.com/weekend-wedding-planning/
I lived in Italy for 5 months as a student, and fell head over heels in love with it! I still speak enough Italian to get by, but the thought of planning a wedding, even with the little experience I have, is a bit scary. I have huge admiration for Michelle Jacobs, owner at Elegante by Michelle J and the UK’s very best Italian wedding planner. (I also love scrolling through the stunning photos of weddings in Italy on her socials – they’re always breathtaking.) I spotted a blog by Michelle where she talks really honestly about the reality of planning a wedding in Italy from the UK. It’s brilliant, super useful and I wanted to share some highlights with you on here (with Michelle’s permission of course).
1. Avoid the hottest months if you’re travelling to Italy to get married
August sounds nice… imagine the hazy evening sunshine over vineyards as you celebrate your wedding with al fresco dining. However – August is super hot: like, reliably and consistently VERY hot.
Avoid melting in the sunshine by choosing a wedding date in a slightly cooler month!
2. Could peak tourist season impact your Italian wedding?
The simpler answer is yes: busy airports, packed hotels and sightseers around your venue might all change the vibe of your day. Opting for a less manic time of year than high summer will feel more relaxed, so avoid school holidays (in both countries!) when booking your wedding.
3. Embrace Italian charm and luxury
5 star luxury in Italy won’t be the same as it might in London; especially in rural areas and countryside destinations. High end and sought after wedding venues come with a dose of Italian charm which might not feel ‘perfect’ by UK city standards. Embrace the splendour and excellence the Italians adore their venues for; rather than expecting the same luxuries as you’d find at the Savoy.
4. Know what to expect from your destination wedding suppliers
There are some incredible Italian wedding suppliers whose work we’ve featured in our destination weddings category for years. However, Italian weddings are different, and you’re very likely to find your choice of suppliers is limited, compared to what is readily available in the UK. Michelle speaks really openly about the choice of Italian wedding suppliers on her blog:
“in Italy (particularly in the more rural or remote areas) you simply can’t expect the same variety or standard of wedding suppliers that you find in the UK, US or Australia. The wedding industry in Italy hasn’t expanded or developed at the same rate as ours, and couples often find that there are less options to choose from within a particular category (e.g. florists or make up artists).
To be clear, we’re not saying that suppliers in Italy aren’t as good as in the UK – far from it! We work with some truly world-class wedding suppliers on our couples’ celebrations in Italy, achieving incredible results with wow factor. The fact is though, there aren’t as many of them and the options for more bespoke or personal items is limited. Many of our couples choose to fly in at least some of their suppliers from the UK, as we’re often unable to meet all our requirements using solely local vendors.”
This is worth knowing, so you can relax your expectations a little and embrace the location itself perhaps, rather than breaking yourselves trying to achieve perfection or Pinterest-level wedding style for your destination wedding!
5. Supplier roles are different in Italy!
I always find this really interesting. An Italian wedding florist will often be responsible for venue styling in its entirety, providing all the hire items. Knowing supplier roles can be so different makes communication really important – and this means effective, crystal clear communication so you and all of your suppliers know exactly who will be doing what on the day.
6. Communication will be crucial every step of the way
Little things like booking processes, paying deposits and signing contracts – even if they’re translated into English for you – won’t be as simple as they can be for UK weddings. You’ll also have to be aware of Italian working patterns, bank holidays and long lunches (I loved lunchtimes when I worked in Italy!) as you work with suppliers to plan your wedding.
A stress-free, relaxed wedding planning experience?
Following Elegante by Michelle J for the last few years has convinced me – utterly, 100% – that a wedding planner is absolutely crucial for destination weddings. If I was looking to get married in Italy I wouldn’t think twice, and this is why:
- I wouldn’t be confident communicating with suppliers without professional help
- I’m sure there are dozens of things I don’t know about how Italian weddings work
- Having someone with a trusted network of suppliers – able to pick up the phone and ask questions – feels invaluable
- Language barriers are real! Knowing someone whose team includes fluent Italian-speakers, is managing key aspects of planning, would be everything
Of course, I’m biased: I love Michelle’s approach and have the utmost respect for everything she does. I’m not saying every couple has to hire a luxury wedding planner – that’s for you to decide! But I will leave you with these wise words, which I think are worth bearing in mind:
“Just as you wouldn’t perform dentistry on your own teeth or install a new kitchen yourself, we don’t recommend trying to plan such an important life event with no prior knowledge either. Especially in Italy” ~ Michelle Jacobs, destination wedding planner at Elegante by Michelle J.
I have huge respect for wedding planners. No luxury wedding should ever be without one, and I honestly believe planners are worth their weight in gold. The cost of hiring a wedding planner will vary based on experience, style and approach. We’ve done a little research into how much wedding planners cost – with help from luxury UK and destination wedding planner Elegante by Michelle J. Read on for an honest look at wedding planner prices and helpful tips in finding the best wedding planner for you.
Avington Park wedding by Elegante by Michelle J | Pippa Mackenzie Photography | Paula Rooney Floral Design
Wedding planners often cost 10-15% of your wedding spend
This depends on experience and skill, and the most in demand wedding planners are likely to be the ones who charge the most.
Some wedding planners will have set fees for different packages (e.g. full planning, or on-the-day coordination).
In Europe more than the UK, planners may take commissions from your suppliers, meaning you’ll pay your wedding planner less, but be tied to their recommended suppliers (florists, hire items, photography, catering etc.)
Wedding planners’ experience and skill set are priceless
It should be recognised that you are paying an expert for something you don’t have the knowledge or experience to take on yourself. Just as you wouldn’t fix your own washing machine, fill your own teeth or even photograph your own wedding, it is inadvisable to try and handle the entire planning journey yourselves.
The cost of a wedding planner reflects not just the hours of work that goes into planning a wedding – anything from 100 – 250 hours is common. Planner fees account for the amazing supplier relationships they’ve built over their careers, and their in depth knowledge of venue sourcing, timelines and logistics.
Avington Park wedding by Elegante by Michelle J | Pippa Mackenzie Photography | Paula Rooney Floral Design
Planning a large or luxury wedding without a planner would take you far longer: knowing where to hire everything from chairs to glassware, how to work with a florist and caterer and so on is a mountainous learning curve!
Understanding the percentage spend pricing structure for wedding planners
Michelle explains that wedding budgets tend to increase the more guests are invited. Bigger weddings cost more – and that’s down to:
- catering and venue hire costs per head
- styling and decor to fill a larger space
- the practicalities of inviting more guests, coordinating responses etc
A percentage fee for your wedding planner means their costs scale up with the amount of work involved: more guests, more complexity, more time spent on planning your wedding.
A note on fixed costs for wedding planner services
A wedding planner charging a fixed fee for their services will stipulate exactly what is included in their package(s) – number of hours being top of that list. If you book someone based on a smaller wedding which then escalates in size (as can often happen), you might need their help with more aspects of your day. That’s fine if they can upgrade your package to add more time and work, but if they’re fully booked with other weddings it can leave you in a bit of a fix.
Choosing a wedding planner based on price alone is unwise
This applies to any wedding supplier, from your outfits to your photographer and especially your wedding planner. You will be spending a lot of time in their company, so it’s really important you both get along with your wedding planner.
Look at previous weddings they’ve planned, to see if their styling approach matches your vision for your day. Are they pure luxury, a little boho, classic and timelessly elegant, or chic and modern?
Ask questions: does your planner speak openly and warmly to answer your concerns about the big questions, and any little worries you have? I’ve always loved Michelle’s approach to wedding planning, that her style is more a hug, not a handshake… as one of our top wedding planners she is instantly welcoming and super approachable.
Check out the suppliers they work with regularly. From wedding stationery to destination florists and favourite photographers, every supplier will have their dream team for different wedding locations and styles. Does their aesthetic fit your dream wedding vibe?
A last word: wedding stress, and fairy godmother wedding planners!
Guides for Brides offers excellent advice about the costs of not hiring a wedding planner: if you’re planning your entire wedding yourselves (or even worse, by yourself) you’ll sacrifice quality time you could be spending together, and run the risk of overwhelm, stress and anxiety. If you already have a full time job, it’s worth acknowledging that wedding planning is another one.
Perhaps you stumbled across this article because you were about to choose a wedding planner based on cost. I hope I’ve helped you to see this decision in a new light! Understanding what a wedding planner is worth, for the time and stress they’ll save you, and for the effortless beauty they’ll bring to your wedding, will help you choose your perfect wedding planner for their experience, expertise and for the marvellous human being that they are!
“We cannot recommend Michelle highly enough! If you want an unforgettable wedding with zero stress and everything going to plan – be sure to work with Michelle!! Simply put she is just the best in the business, has a great network of suppliers and works tirelessly to ensure your wedding doesn’t just go smoothly, but reaches levels of excellence you don’t even expect. We couldn’t have wanted for more!” ~ Claudia & Dan (their breathtaking Avington Park wedding is on Wedding Chicks here)
Inspired by Elegante by Michelle J
