Header image credit: English Wedding member and Cornwall wedding photographer Chris Armstrong Photography

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Everyone’s talking about authentic weddings right now. Since Charli XCX and George Daniel said their I dos at a London registry office, the internet’s alight with authentic wedding advice. But they’re missing something. Actually, the likes of Brides, Vogue and The Wed have missed a LOT in their analysis and advice for authentic, Gen-Z weddings. If you really want an authentic wedding, here are our best tips for making it happen – and for doing it beautifully.

1. Choose wedding flowers with heart

Being authentic absolutely isn’t about spending £10 on a supermarket bouquet. Supermarket flowers are usually imported, treated with pesticides, and grown on such a large scale they’ve lost their scent.

IF you choose to have flowers at your wedding – and remember they’re optional: there’s no such thing as a wedding “must-have” – choose flowers with heart and soul. That means finding a local florist who pours everything they have into a business they’re passionate about. There are loads around the UK, sourcing organically grown flowers (in farms that do everything for pollinators) and making magic from seasonal arrangements.

2. Opt for locally sourced wedding catering

Whether your venue’s catering is in house or brought in, and whether you’re having traditional menus or street food, make sure it’s ethical.

Choosing responsibly sourced ingredients is the sustainable way to go, always. This could be plant-based or ethical farming: always knowing you’re supporting local farmers.

 

3. Choose a welcoming, warm venue for your celebrations

I’m not sold on the registry office trend as a way of having an “authentic” wedding. For me, this is where you do the wedding day admin. But to have a wedding with heart and soul, there are other amazing options to consider: the best are family run venues where you can choose everything from your caterers, styling, and timings of your day. A great venue will feel – from the very first time you visit – relaxed, welcoming, and warm-hearted.

4. Let your personalities guide your wedding styling

I see hundreds of romantic, feminine weddings. If that reflects both of you – and it might, if you’re romantics and fans of Bridgerton or gardening. Oodles of pink peonies and roses are a classic wedding look. A more authentic approach might be if you both love colour, to trust your florist to use all colours of the rainbow in your arrangements. Or if you’re outdoorsy, or foodies, to incorporate more foliage or scented herbs.

Styling isn’t just about flowers though: it’s everything from your outfits to your tables, stationery and signage. It can be minimal or designed to completely fill a space. It can be joyful, pared back or super elegant. The most authentic wedding styling is where your wedding space reminds you of your shared home, in the best possible way.

5. Consider a wedding celebrant

Authenticity isn’t content creators or styling alone. With a celebrant, your ceremony itself can be the heart of your day. Independent celebrants work with you to plan a bespoke ceremony which has your relationship at its very heart.

For a while, receptions and aesthetics felt like the most important part of weddings. Ceremonies were led by vicars or registrars, so the only place to inject personality was by adding personalised vows at the end of a ceremony, and styling the hell out of weddings. With celebrants, your vows, your personalities and your commitment can be the very core of your day.

6. Wear your very best, but look and feel like you!

Follow tradition or break rules – that’s entirely up to you! Just find a suit or dress you look and feel amazing in. It doesn’t have to be what’s expected at a wedding: for guys, it certainly doesn’t have to be a hired suit and for brides, it doesn’t have to be a dress made in China (that’s sometimes why they take 6 months or more – and the air miles alone make them a less than ethical choice when there are designers making dresses much closer to home).

If your budgets allow, look for local tailors, boutiques and seamstresses. Ask questions at wedding shows: “where are these dresses made?”

The most important thing is that your wedding outfit makes you feel great. Comfortable, not stiff or squeezed into a rigid bodice or too-small pair of trousers – or shoes! I wholeheartedly recommend pockets for everyone too!

7. Invite close friends only

The smaller your wedding, the more relaxed you will be with only the people you love most in the world around you. That’s family – but not your distant cousins. It’s faces you know well and see often, people you hug hard when you see them, and everyone you love being around.

Inviting people you don’t know so well can make the day more of a performance, or an exercise in people-pleasing. There’s no need – just invite the folks you really love.

8. Choose your key suppliers really well

This is really important. It’s the reason I wanted to write this article about authentic weddings in the first place, and it’s from something lovely Annabel over on Love My Dress said last week.

“Supporting small, independent businesses who honour time, skill and the handmade feels not only important, but necessary. There’s so much value in work that’s made by hand, in the time, the care and the unmistakable human touch.” ~ Annabel Beeforth, editor of Love My Dress wedding website

Gathering a team of talented, dedicated, lovely people to make your wedding amazing will also make it authentic.

Great wedding suppliers – from cake designers to hair and make up artists, videographers and photographers, content creators to wedding calligraphers – will take the time to get to know you. They’ll listen carefully and offer genuine advice as they talk through your shared ideas.

On the day you’ll spend time with your hair and make up team who will feel like friends. You’ll be around a videographer, photographer and content creator (if you have them) who are relaxed, smiling and care about you and your wedding. Those little styling touches will be full of heart because you know how illustrated / wrote / assembled them for you. And that’s far more authentic than choosing low cost, mass produced styling touches online, or choosing your key suppliers based on price instead of how well they’ll fit in with your day.

9. Incorporate hand crafted wedding stationery

When I think of authentic wedding stationery it’s illustration that I imagine. A beautifully painted wedding venue, a monogram made just for you, or a painting of the two of you.

I adore a more traditional look, and that’s kind of my thing! But equally, elegant stationery with carefully crafted typography can fit some couples like a glove. The secret is to work with a real life human person to have it made, just for you.

10. Choose the right photography & videography

The best you can ask from a wedding photography and videography team is for candid, authentic images after your day, and an unobtrusive way of working on the day. When couples tell me their wedding photographer “got amazing images, despite us hardly knowing they were there on the day!” I know they’ve chosen one of the brilliant documentary wedding photographers I love so much.

The same goes for videography and content creators – find someone experienced, friendly and great at what they do, so your wedding flows in an authentic way and the memories they capture for you will be genuine and full of heart.

11. When it comes to timings, do what comes naturally

There’s a traditional running order for a wedding, especially at older venues, which isn’t necessarily the best for everyone. For example: couples should be able to choose when to do their speeches (so long as it doesn’t cause problems for their caterers). For some, a late afternoon wedding will make more sense than the old school all-day event. I think that’s really lovely. (It’s how Charlotte and Adam did their luxury wedding in Cambridge, and the photos are incredible!)

So find a venue which won’t dictate timings for you because “this is just how it’s done”. (Do listen to your wedding planner or coordinator if they explain genuine reasons for certain timings!) You can have speeches outside, all at once, or scattered through the day. You can have no speeches. You can have a first dance mid afternoon, late in the day, or not at all. Cake cutting doesn’t have to be reserved for evening guests; do it anytime. You don’t even need to invite evening guests: if you’re having a wedding weekend, spend all day with them the day after  your ceremony!

One last piece of advice for an authentic wedding:

We let the internet guide our entire lives, and that’s one thing Gen Z are stepping away from. So as your wedding plans evolve I heartily recommend that you avoid Pinterest and any wedding influencers on socials. It’s easy to fall into a trap of imitating online weddings – even if you try not to! Even more importantly, avoid AI wedding content. Those images are evil.

Step away from all the visuals of what weddings “should be”. Ignore average budgets and checklists that don’t suit you both. Plan together, and enjoy doing it. And when it comes to personal touches, make sure they really do feel personal: choose Etsy makers crafting with heart and soul over eBay sellers flogging mass made, bargain basement wedding tat!