It’s been a rollercoaster week, and we hope you’re holding up ok with your wedding plans, especially those of you looking ahead to the summer months for your wedding. If you’re struggling with your mental health, you’re absolutely not alone. We’ve heard from so many couples who are having an awful time, and from suppliers whose businesses are under such incredible pressure. We hear you, and we want you to stay safe, and well, and to do your best to take care of yourselves. Once again, the folks from Bupa have been in touch to share some advice for anyone facing the overwhelm of wedding planning right now. We do hope this is useful for you.
by Caroline Harper, Mental Health Nurse Adviser at Bupa UK
Whilst planning a wedding is very exciting, it can also feel stressful at times. Especially over the last year with many restrictions in place, planning your big day may have felt more overwhelming than you were expecting.
Recognising when you’re feeling stressed and finding coping mechanisms that help you manage your feelings can help put the joy back into planning a wedding and a focus on your upcoming marriage.
Caroline Harper, Mental Health Nurse Adviser at Bupa UK shares 5 simple – but effective – ways you can manage your worries and plan a stress-free wedding.
Talk about how you’re feeling
Discussing your worries and stresses with your partner will help you to feel supported – most likely they will be experiencing the same feelings as you. Remember you are in this together.
Talking to your friends and family can also help. They may be able to offer practical advice, helping you to think about stressful situations from a different perspective.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a meditative approach that can help to reduce stress through practicing the art of being present in the current moment.
When practicing mindfulness, pause and take the time to think about and name the emotion you’re feeling and accept this emotion is present, but will pass.
Reduce the time you spend on social media
With the rise of social media, comparing ourselves to others is easier than ever before. Whilst social media can provide inspiration during your wedding planning process, it’s important to try not to get too wrapped up in comparison culture and let other people’s plans dampen your own.
A wedding is a celebration of the relationship between you and your partner; therefore, each wedding will be different in its own way. Whilst planning your wedding, spend time reflecting on what is important in your relationship and try to incorporate this into your big day.
Practice relaxation techniques
Relaxation techniques can help reduce stress. There are lots of different ways you can promote relaxation; what works for you may be different to what works for someone else, so it makes sense to try out a few methods.
During your wedding planning process, take the time to find out what works for you – yoga, breathing exercises and spending time outdoors are all great ways to unwind, both during wedding planning and in the future.
Take time away from wedding planning
Wedding planning and admin can be all-encompassing. However, remember to take time away from wedding planning to focus on the people you love and activities you enjoy. Whilst it’s good to focus on your wedding, it’s healthy to take time away from planning to do other things you enjoy, such as exercising and seeing friends and family.
Spending quality time with your partner before your wedding will help to strengthen your relationship before you begin married life, as well as helping to identify what is truly important in your relationship.
Similarly, making time for the activities you enjoy will help you to switch off from any wedding planning stresses, reducing any overwhelming feelings you may be experiencing, and helping to keep you fit and well.
For mental health support with Bupa’s medical insurance visit https://www.bupa.co.uk/health/health-insurance/mental-health
We appreciate that not everyone can afford medical insurance right now, and it’s important that everyone can access the help they need. You can find more mental health advice and support from other charities and organisations which are listed on Bupa’s website.
Header image credit: Phoebe & Jarrod’s Islington Town Hall wedding by York Place Studios
A guest post from Glenys Jackson, Clinical Lead for Mental Health from Bupa UK. Header photo by Hendo Wang on Unsplash
Are you feeling overwhelmed planning your wedding? You’re not alone, it’s more common than you think. There’s so much to oversee in the run-up to the big day that most couples feel some stress and anxiety through their wedding planning process.
According to Google search analysis, many more couples are looking to reduce the time it takes to plan a wedding. Since the beginning of 2022, we’ve seen average monthly searches for ‘planning a wedding in six months’ more than triple.
Planning a wedding in six months can have many advantages but putting lots of pressure on yourself over such a short time period can also be extremely challenging. For couples feeling the stress, Glenys Jackson, Clinical Lead for Mental Health at Bupa UK, shares her top tips for reducing wedding planxiety ahead of your big day.
1. How anxiety affects your body
Generalised anxiety can affect your mind and body, how we think and feel, causing both physical and emotional changes. As you plan your wedding, it’s important to take note of when the symptoms of anxiety are starting to affect your wellbeing, especially when you’re under a lot of stress.
Physical signs of anxiety can include:
- Constant exhaustion
- Trouble sleeping
- Muscle tiredness, soreness and pain
- Stomach discomfort
- Nausea
- Heart palpitations
- Nervous sweating
Effects on your mind can include:
- Feeling emotional or tearful more than usual
- Having a sense of dread, or fearing the worst
- Craving reassurance from other people in the fear you’ve upset them with your decisions
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feeling tense, nervous or unable to relax
2. Share how you’re feeling
Photo by Hendo Wang on Unsplash
No matter how hard we try to control our thoughts and feelings, they can sometimes be too overwhelming to cope with alone. Even the thought of sharing what’s going on in your head with someone else can be scary, but it can go a long way into helping you understand your feelings and why your body is reacting in a certain way.
Talking to someone you trust to share what you’re going through can offer you a different perspective – and they may even be able to offer practical advice to help you cope. They might not have all the answers, but sometimes just saying your feelings out loud or writing them down can make you feel better.
If you do feel scared about opening up to someone, it’s completely understandable. Try these helpful tips:
- Identify your feelings and emotions – take a moment to self-reflect, start by asking yourself: “what am I noticing, feeling, or thinking?” and focus on the sensations in your body as you have these thoughts.
- Talk to the right person at the right time – it’s a good idea to choose someone who’s open, a good listener, understanding and empathetic. Pick a time and place with a relaxed ambiance where you can have privacy and no distractions.
- Practice – write down what you’d like to say to help you to remember what you want to share in as much detail as you want. Read it out loud a few times until the words begin to flow and you start to feel more comfortable about putting a voice to your feelings.
3. Understand how you best unwind
Practising regular relaxation techniques can help keep you healthy, in both body and mind as you plan. Even if you only have five minutes, there are easy ways to relax:
- Breathing exercises – one of the simplest relaxation strategies and can calm your body and mind anywhere, anytime. Following guided videos can be a great way to help you get started.
- Muscle relaxation – when we’re stressed, tension can build in our muscles. Remembering to unwind through stretching, taking a bath or practicing yoga can help to release physical tension and help us feel relaxed. Get crafty – mindful colouring, painting, knitting or crocheting – the choice is yours.
- Mindfulness – a meditative approach that can help reduce stress and learn the art of being present in the current moment – comprises of lots of little changes that can help make a big difference to our day-to-day wellbeing. Try our one month of mindfulness calendar to help get you started.
4. Delegate tasks
Understandably, you’ll want to ensure that your wedding is as perfect as it can be. However, taking on more tasks than you can handle at one time can be damaging to your wellbeing.
When your to-do list feels endless, delegating tasks and letting go of some control may feel really difficult, so it can be good to start by letting others help with some of your smaller tasks. This will reduce time spent on planning and allow you more time to spend time on yourself and your partner.
You’ll be surprised how much friends and family will feel special and willing to help if you ask them to help you and be involved.
5. Limit your time on social media
Social media can be a great way to communicate with your guests in the run up to your wedding, along with being a great source of inspiration. However, it can also make it easy to compare yourself to others and feel pressure to push yourself in ways you weren’t originally planning to. Once something is booked, cross it off your list, give your finger scrolling a rest and save your energy.
Remember that each wedding is different in its own way. Reflecting on what’s important to you and your partner is the most important thing – not replicating what you see on social media.
6. Remember that you’re allowed to take time away from planning
Wedding tasks can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re trying to squeeze it into your already busy lifestyle. It may be useful to treat wedding planning as you do your job – set aside time each day or week to work on your wedding tasks. When that time is up, make sure you switch off and take time away from it to spend time with the people you love and to do activities you enjoy, until the next time you have set aside.
Time blocking your wedding tasks will help you be more efficient and will help to reduce your stress and anxiety.
7. Don’t forget that help is out there
Experiencing anxiety over such an intense period may feel debilitating. If you’re struggling to open up to those close to you, there are lots of free resources filled with advice and tips to help you cope with anxiety.
Don’t forget that you can always make an appointment with a GP to share how you’re feeling and get some help. The earlier you seek help with anxiety, the better, so don’t delay if you’re struggling.