LGBTQ+ weddings

A brilliant and thought-provoking article by Simon Dewey Photography

I gave up on posing a little while ago. I stumbled across photographers like Tracy Jade & Naomi Goggin who were just letting couples exist in their own space. It was a lightbulb moment – I’ve also studied under Jesh de Rox and Luis Garvan and all sorts of photographers who have approaches to working with people and emotions. And whilst their methods usually produce something more natural, it always felt somehow manipulative and dishonest to do this on a wedding day – a day that should be filled with natural emotion.

Yesterday, I was shooting the wedding of a same sex couple, and I felt I had to explain myself. Because it probably looks like I don’t know how to pose a same sex couple, whereas the reality is that I don’t know how to pose any couple.

Or, to be more precise, I don’t know how to pose in a way that doesn’t turn people into gender clichés and stereotypes. Whether they’re straight, gay or any other complex shade of the spectrum. Posing is inherently weird, and even weirder in the context of wedding photography. It communicates things about a couple and their relationship – things that may have absolutely nothing to do with that couple.

A broader issue

The wedding industry has long been steeped in traditional gender roles and expectations, often reflecting outdated stereotypes about what grooms and brides should look like, act like, and prioritise during their big day. However, as society evolves toward greater inclusivity and individuality, there is a growing movement to challenge and reshape these norms, allowing weddings to be authentic celebrations that reflect the diverse identities of all couples.

Of course there are plenty of exceptions to this and some wonderful wedding blogs embracing diversity and showing different styles of wedding… But I’m not seeing it reflected in education for wedding photographers – and the styling and couples shown in weddings across the wedding media, Pinterest, Instagram and TikTok just reinforce the visual message of a very homogeneous wedding. (Probably the peril of being in the trade – but I see a wonky picture of a groom and bride filling a champagne tower every time I open up social media). To echo my own website – Not everyone wants to be a Disney princess or James Bond on their wedding day.

This becomes especially problematic when couples don’t fit those moulds.

Same-sex couples, non-binary partners, and those who feel uncomfortable with traditional binary roles often find themselves misrepresented, or worse—excluded—from the wedding photography narrative. Instead of capturing their authentic story and love, photos can end up reinforcing clichés that don’t resonate with them.

And it becomes even more important in the long-term as photos and the media we create become family heirlooms – historical documents that tell us about our families and their histories.

I think we’ll always be able to excuse it with “that’s just what fashions dictated at the time”. But I also think we lose the magic of capturing who the people in the photo really are, and what they meant to each other. I think being able to bottle even a tiny fraction of that is why a lot of us picked up a camera in the first place.

What can we do as wedding photographers / vendors

Breaking away from gender stereotypes in wedding photography doesn’t mean abandoning romance or tradition altogether. It means allowing couples to define how they want to be seen. Here are a few ways photographers can shift their practice:

  • Educate ourselves. Understanding your clients means more than knowing LGBTQ+ terminology or history. It’s about listening. Photojournalist Jonas Peterson highlights that listening is the first step in telling someone’s story. Ask open questions early on, learn what makes each couple tick, and avoid assumptions based on gender or tradition. (I love meeting people on their home turf. You learn so much about a couple by just being in their space.)
  • Pose for personality, not gender. Instead of defaulting to “the bride looks delicate, the groom looks strong,” focus on what feels natural to the couple. Some people love being playful, others prefer elegance — neither should be tied to gender. Personally I’m playing with trying to create space for couples to be themselves. It’s a pretty awkward space for the first minute or so, but then it transitions into something more personal and collaborative. (I’m planning to cover this more in depth on my own blog.)
  • Balance the coverage. Give equal attention to all partners in photos and albums. It’s common to see brides featured prominently while grooms or partners feel sidelined—avoid this by showcasing genuine connection and individuality. (And this is an ongoing conversation on English Wedding too.)
  • Use inclusive language. Replace “bride and groom” with “partners” or “couple,” especially in communications and marketing.
  • Show inclusive photos. Similar to above – showing a wide range of clients, cultures and experiences in our visual storytelling echoes the message to come as you are, not as what is expected of you.
  • Highlight authentic moments. The truest photographs often come from documentary-style coverage, capturing laughter, vulnerability, and connection without staging gendered roles.
  • Educate clients. Help couples move beyond Pinterest-perfection and embrace their unique relationship dynamics. Your guidance can free them from cookie-cutter expectations.

Preparation Time

I want to also shine a spotlight on preparation time, as I believe traditionally, we weight this in favour of the bride and produce a responsibility on the bridal party to be both the centre of attention, and often quite vulnerable. It also echoes the stereotype that only brides care about their appearance or find getting ready meaningful, while grooms are portrayed as afterthoughts who simply put on a suit.

Of course your couples are going to have priorities and preferences. (Personally I love it when they break with tradition and get ready together – not just for the convenience, but for the care and attention they show to each other on the morning of the wedding) I’d also refer back to the point above – Educate yourself about your clients, ask lots of questions.

Also an actual selling point, as a photographer

Modern couples increasingly seek authenticity and personalisation. They want wedding photographs that truly represent who they are—not society’s idea of who they should be. Offering a portfolio and style that embrace diverse relationships and expressions attracts a wider and more engaged clientele.

Breaking free from predictable gendered poses also pushes photographers creatively. It’s an opportunity to explore deeper storytelling and produce images that resonate emotionally — keeping your work fresh, meaningful, and compelling.

Conclusion

Challenging gender stereotypes in wedding photography isn’t about discarding tradition entirely; it’s about expanding the narrative to include all couples and expressions of love. It allows wedding photography to fulfill its highest calling: capturing not just how couples look on their day, but who they really are.

By listening, learning, and adapting our approaches, we as photographers and vendors can help make weddings — and wedding photography — a more welcoming, authentic celebration for everyone. And that’s got to be a good thing.

PS. Another word on posing / not posing

I may not have convinced you about letting go of posing and directing – and there may indeed be a third way. But I thought I should add this little tidbit from Dawoud Bey’s On photographing people and communities. Dawoud has been photographing strangers since before I was in nappies – and I’m no spring chicken. I’m going to leave with a quote from the book that really stuck with me:

“The things that are going on in the world are so much more interesting than anything you can make up…. If the pose comes from the subject, it will ring truer than anything I can direct. I can’t anticipate subtleties like the drape of her hand or the placement of his hand – the little poetic gestures or grace notes. I have to let them evolve and then recognise them when I see them.” (Page 52, if you want to get hold of a copy)

 

How can I convince you not to follow wedding blogs for the details? How can I show you I believe in my heart that weddings are ALL about the love, connection, celebration – when this epic wedding lands in my inbox with all its glorious disco sparkle and vibrant colour!

Because this amazing celebration looks incredible. And as amazing as it looks, its heart and soul is what absolutely shines. Jack and Kieran’s wedding stands out because their personalities burst beautifully from the screen. Their love – the glimmer of a happy tear, the joy they share with everyone around them – sparkles even more than those gorgeous disco balls.

What makes me happiest of all is that these two knew how important it would be to have images that will remind them how their wedding felt, in years and decades to come. The life and vibrance in the photos comes from the skill of their photographer – documentary wedding photographer Simon Dewey (based in Derby). Simon’s approach is thoughtful, focused on capturing weddings naturally and seeing past the pretty details so your memories will be of the atmosphere, the feelings, the emotions and of course ALL the love.

So join me in falling in love with the details first: the disco balls and vibrant florals, the beautifully designed signage and funky candles, the doughnut and mixtape favours all overseen by Donna Summer, Kylie and Cher at The Shack Revolution. Then follow the story of Kieran and Jack’s wedding day as it unfolds, because every moment is special, every glance is magic and every photograph is a real, heartfelt memory, captured forever.

Kieran and Jack, thank you for letting us share your day. Simon Dewey – thank you for sharing your documentary photography of this perfect wedding with English Wedding.

Kieran & Jack’s wedding suppliers:

Documentary wedding photographer – Simon Dewey
Venue – @shackrevolution
Florist – @littlebloomingflorist
Pizza van – @originpizza
Ice cream van – @m.and.m.ices
Signage – designed by Kieran

—photog2

Today’s absolute joy of a wedding comes from beautiful Grasmere, in the heart of the Lake District. Mark and Dan look amazing in matching suits, the floral styling is out of this world and the photography captures the atmosphere of their day perfectly.

All images are by Lake District wedding photographer Mark Battista

I am head over heels in love with so many of Mark and Dan’s images I could have shared so many more on the blog… do head over to @englishweddingblog on instagram to see more of my favourites! Congratulations to this gorgeous pair – and huge thank yous for sharing such wonderful supplier reviews for the amazing team who brought the day to life. An absolute beauty!

Wedding photographer’s website

Lake District wedding photographer Mark Battista http://www.markbattistaphotography.co.uk

Wedding photographer review

The photos are absolutely perfect, Mark captured the whole event superbly. You really get the feel of it being a truly wonderful occasion (which it was)! We were super excited to share them with everyone. Everything on the day went perfectly, the style is just what we wanted and nothing too formal.

Your best wedding moment or memory

Undercover waiters – got everyone on their feet (some even on the tables) It was a really special moment and got the party started. They even got people on their feet who we didn’t quite expect to!


Tell us anything you did differently – we love hearing about NEW traditions (or none at all!)

  • We both walked down the aisle with our mothers.
  • Our two dogs were the ringbearers.
  • The two best women gave speeches.
  • We had an evening party the day before for 55 of the guests who were staying at the venue.

Videographer name + review

Moments in White – Jayson.

Jayson captured the day in the most amazing way. (Check @momentsinwhite on instagram for the beautiful highlights reels!)

Venue name + review

Lancrigg, Grasmere (Lake District wedding venue)

What a venue and a hidden gem! Simon and Alison the owners are onto something special with this one as a wedding venue. We had a truly magical weekend and everything went the way we wished… and more. The staff were fantastic and many of our guests commented how friendly they were. No request was too much and Simon and his team were accommodating with all our requests (some quite outlandish!)

The Barn, Whiskey Bar and Main House played host to the best day of our lives and it felt so festive and homely. The Barn and Whiskey bar have been transformed into an impressive venue that provides a blank canvas to dress how you wish…. And we went to town and grateful we were allowed to do so. What a party it was!

Tell us a little about your outfits – both of you!

We both wore: Green Tweed Suit, Beige Checked Waistcoat, Burgundy tie

Suit shop name + review

Edit Suits – great service from start to finish from Joeline and Wayne. Made, Measured and fitted to perfection.

Florist name + review

Brackens of Bowness

Kevin the florist really listened to what we wanted and adapted plans based on the season and cost. It felt like Kevin was at the venue for the entire day, flipping the ceremony displays to the table garlands for the evening and working tirelessly the day before setting up garlands for the aisle and hanging from the beams of the barn. We couldn’t have wished for anything better, the flowers and greenery really added to the look and feel of the day and we couldn’t have been happier. He transformed the venue in ways we didn’t think were possible!

Stationery maker’s name + review

Muse Calligraphy

The wedding stationery was absolutely beautiful and it was an absolute pleasure working with Muse Calligraphy. We adapted the format of the menu design with our own detail and Millie was amazing at delivering what we wanted and was happy to make last minute changes. The detail of the print and the quality of the card really added an extra special touch to the day.

Any crafty projects or homemade styling touches?

We supplied the Christmas trees and made the garland around the barn doors. We also enhanced the table settings and seating plan with our personalised wax seal, bunny tail and feathers.

Entertainment

Undercover waiters – Live Music
Tailor and Co – Band

Catering

Karen Rhodes Wedding and Event Catering

Lauren from Karen Rhodes was exceptional on the day. The food was the showstopper of the day and everyone was so complimenting of the food and service provided (especially the poor girls serving canapés having to venture outside in the pouring rain into the house from the catering tent). The food was piping hot and delicious! Lauren really out our mind at ease around the logistics of the day and is a true asset to the business.

Our whole dealings with Karen Rhodes were without fault and Charlotte and Lucy have a business they can be really proud of.

Hair + makeup name + review

B the Bride – https://www.instagram.com/b_thebride_

I can’t really comment too much as it was the ladies who had their Hair and Make up done but everyone was really pleased and the girls looked amazing, our mothers especially. They listened to what they all wanted and executed it in the best possible way.

 

 

 

A fabulous start to the week with two gorgeous grooms and a beautifully styled Sussex wedding. It’s been years since we featured a wedding at Farbridge, and I’m so happy to see the place again! Adam and Craig styled the venue with the most amazing statement florals, creating a day filled with so much love and the loveliest styling touches. I love how central their mums were to everything. Really, I should have saved this wedding to publish on Mothers Day but I simply couldn’t wait to share it with you! Images are by super talented Nikki Terra Photography, who gets a glowing review from the happy couple. Adam & Craig have shared brilliant reviews as well for some other Farbridge wedding suppliers: Meg at Hedge Rose, and Laura Skillen for hair and make up, as well as local suit suppliers Hunter & Greys – and of course the venue itself!

Wedding photographer’s website

Nikki Terra https://nikkiterra.co.uk

Wedding photographer review

Nikki was incredible to work with and from the moment we met her we knew she would be the one to capture our special day. We had great communication and the engagement shoot was the perfect opportunity for us all to get to know each other and for her to see what we would be comfortable with and the style of her work. This made us even more excited for the big day and we were thrilled with the results – she captured every moment beautifully, as well as the venue and the surroundings and we have hundreds of beautiful images that perfectly encapsulate our day. She was even there for us in a moment of panic when we lost a button on some trousers – Nikki and her sewing kit to the rescue!

Your best wedding moment or memory

Being announced in to the wedding breakfast by our Master of Ceremonies on such a high to the biggest cheers from all of our loved ones!

Tell us anything you did differently – we love hearing about NEW traditions (or none at all!)

Our mums were central to our day, and as such they played a pivotal role. They both walked us down the aisle and both gave speeches at the breakfast, which is a little uncommon but made our day so special. It also gave our guests a nice surprise as neither of us were waiting at the altar and it kept our outfits a secret!

Venue name + review

Farbridge, West Dean

We visited about 5 venues in our search and Farbridge blew us away – nestled in the South Downs, the flint barn was just stunning and we could do so much with the space. The staff had such incredible attention to detail, and the food and service was impeccable- down to them even discreetly tidying the gravel out the front after our guests arrived. Not one stone was left un-turned – literally! Accommodating 16 of us overnight in beautiful rooms also allowed us to carry on the next day and we had a wonderful breakfast whilst talking about the day before. Everything was perfect and we hope we are lucky enough to return again one day for someone else’s special day.

Tell us a little about your outfits – both of you!

Suits supplied by Hunter & Greys (https://hunterandgreys.co.uk/)

Wilvorst flannel suit in Stone with Kempton dusty pink waistcoat. Floral Liberty of London ties with matching pocket square.

Dress or suit shop name + review

Our mantra for our wedding was to use local – Hannah at Hunter and Greys was no exception and she was wonderful to work with. Exceptional service tailored (literally) to every individual, she gave us so much time and compassion in finding that perfect suit. She had an amazing selection to chose from and it took quite some time to narrow it down but we were thrilled with what we chose in the end and her expert guidance helped to make the process all that more special.

Florist name + review

Hedge Rose Chichester- https://hedgerose.uk/

We were very fortunate to have Hedge Rose provide floristry for our wedding at Farbridge – and with a floral theme and a difficult brief for some show stopper pieces, Meg absolutely nailed it. It was a joy to work with her and it’s clear to see how passionate and creative she is in her work. Her and the team did a beautiful job and so many of our guests had incredible comments about our floristry – we can’t thank Meg and the team enough for a first class service and the journey we had with her in designing the pieces for our special day.

Cake maker name + review

Our cake was designed and made by our best friend and one of our Groomsmaids, Emma. Emma is a teacher by day but bakes in her own time, so the pressure was on! But she designed a gorgeous show stopper for us comprising Victoria sponge, white chocolate and passionfruit and a top tier of cherry bakewell flavour sponge, decorated in buttercream, white chocolate and edible wildflowers.

Any crafty projects or homemade styling touches?

Canva was central to all of our stationery and finishing touches and the level of personalisation the app allows was fantastic. We sourced frames to have photos of loved ones, and the candelabras were second hand from an events business who were going to bin them. The hampers for cards, photos and favours we collected ourselves and the florist kindly added loose stems and greenery to finish it all off.

Wedding readings?

Holleigh Breslin – Adams sisters provided a tear-jerker of a reading during our ceremony.

Wedding planner name + review

Wedding planning was in house by Farbridge – kindly provided by Eleanor and coordinated on the day by Imogen.

Hair + makeup name + review

Laura Skillen Salons https://lauraskillensalons.com/

Laura provided hair both before and on the day – myself and Adam visited prior to allow our hair time to settle, which Laura and Terri kindly styled on the day. They also styled both our mums hair and our two groomsmaids, who also visited prior to the wedding for trials and were so pleased with how they looked. The hair all looked wonderful and fit the theme of our day beautifully.

How lovely to end the week with such a perfect wedding. Meg and Evie were married at York Register Office and their day is full of love and personality. The two brides took a walk through the park which looks so special – one of those unforgettable wedding day moments. Their images are stunning, so I will let those speak for themselves! One favourite piece of advice from the happy couple before we begin, though: “It’s the time you spend together and with your loved ones that matters the most“. I think that’s really special. Enjoy!

Wedding photographer website + review

York & North Yorkshire wedding photographer Joss Denham

Joss did an amazing job capturing our wedding day. Neither of us love being in front of a camera but felt totally at ease with Joss for both the posed group shots and the candid, natural photos where we didn’t even notice him nearby. Joss did a great job of directing us and our family and friends to get the shots we wanted, even getting everyone ready for the confetti throw. Our photos all look amazing and we are so pleased we chose Joss as our wedding photographer, and an extra bonus was how quickly he edited the images so we could view our online gallery only 5 days after the wedding!

We got married at York Register Office and then had our reception at The Plough, Fulford. We wanted a casual day and both of these venues were well suited. The Plough is my family’s pub/restaurant/B&B so it felt special to spend the day there. We would definitely recommend both of these venues.

The flowers

Meg’s gran picked flowers from her garden for both of our bouquet’s and the flowers on the tables. It felt special and sentimental to have her grow and arrange our flowers and they looked a bit wild and rustic which we think looked great.


Wedding cake

We had a 2 tier cake from Nelson Bakery, one tier was lemon and the other was chocolate orange. It was decorated with tiny red hearts to match our nail art.

What would be your top tip for a future couple getting married?

Organise everything as far in advance as possible so you can relax on the run up to the wedding!

What advice would you give to a future couple to do/not do to make sure their guests have a great time at their wedding?

We would recommend creating a guest book filled with photos of you both when you were younger and then of all the key memories you have together. Our guests all loved looking through and leaving comments for us in the book. It gave everyone something to talk about and felt special to include photos of memories we have with each guest and also those no longer with us. We did it in chronological order starting with some baby pics, then toddler etc through to current day and put images of us both around the same age side by side with captions to tell people where the photo was taken/how old we were etc.

Are there any areas or items you would advise future couples not to spend so much money on?

Everything!! None of it really matters – it’s the time you spend together and with your loved ones that matters the most. No one will remember half of the details.