A welcome end to the ‘perfect wedding’ era, as couples embrace guest experience over aesthetics
Honestly, if I never hear anyone mispronounce ‘aesthetic’ again, I’ll smile for the rest of my life. The instagram era brought a laser sharp focus onto how weddings looked, over and above how they felt – and for a while, that felt ok. Happily, wedding suppliers and couples are recognising a need for change. Let’s say goodbye to perfect weddings, and wrap a warm hug around joy and chaos, human connection and ethical weddings instead.
Oh – FYI, ‘aesthetic‘ doesn’t begin with ‘ass’. It’s pronounced ‘esthetic’. But it’s a word that’s losing its power in the wedding media, as wedding planning is becoming more about joyful ceremonies and guest experiences than perfectly styled tables and pristine decor.
This is such a welcome shift in how we see weddings – and takes some of the pressure off wedding planning for couples too.
I’m writing this mini blog post after a brief email chat about weddings and climate change this morning.
To make my position clear: the climate emergency is real, and while weddings do not matter one jot in the climate conversation, climate really should matter in the conversations the wedding media is having.
Worryingly, the wedding world trundles on, mostly ignoring the impact the climate emergency will have on weddings, and also the impact of the wedding industry on climate change.
I had a press release in my inbox from Orange PR on behalf of Flawsome this morning too. They’re a sustainable drinks brand transforming surplus fruit into cold pressed juices, and they’ve launched a new ‘flaws & all’ campaign with an email which talks about weddings, waste and the small steps couples and suppliers can take to make weddings more sustainable.
And the bit I found really interesting: they’d surveyed a bunch of people, who’d said that weddings don’t even need to be memorable. And yet, people did recall the waste: single-use decorations, food and drink, and flowers.
I agree with Flawsome that imperfections can be beautiful. It’s why English Wedding has been sharing weddings photographed in a documentary style since 2009. Our features have focused on human connection, on emotional moments, and on the love, and joy, of weddings; the styling and decor set the scene for celebration, but they’re not what weddings are about.
There’s been a shift in the last few years, towards meaningful and celebrant-led ceremonies. It’s wonderful to see heartfelt weddings where the ceremony part isn’t ‘a formality’ to be dreaded – and I’ve seen plenty of weddings where nerves are visibly overwhelming.
Ceremonies that include and involve wedding guests can be utterly brilliant.
Guests remember how ceremonies felt.
Couples and guests will remember the vibe – partly the styling of a wedding, partly the welcome and the weather and how nice the toilets in the venue were. They’ll enjoy the food, adore the entertainment, and embrace the quirky little touches and personal details that made the day feel uniquely yours.
None of this is about perfection. It’s about experience. And it’s such an exciting signal that weddings are changing for the better. Move over instagram, and step aside AI. Joyful, messy, maybe chaotic and utterly wonderful weddings are the future, and we’re here for every imperfectly magical moment!
All images in today’s blog by Kent documentary wedding photographer Benjamin Toms
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