There is such a thing as the ‘everywedding‘ – and it’s all about styling. The internet and wedding media can’t help but follow trends, but YOU absolutely don’t have to. Take a step back for just one moment and imagine your wedding from your guests’ perspective: it will be all about the two of you. Your favourite people are excited to see you celebrate your love, and if you find a way to do that which feels authentic, comfortable, and really personal, it will be an unforgettable day! Here’s how to sidestep the ‘everywedding‘ trap of samey styling, and create your own unique and beautiful wedding – with help from our favourite wedding experts!

Photo by Ellie Cooper on Unsplash

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This blog was inspired by a wonderful chat I had with the UK’s number 1 luxury wedding planner, Mark Niemierko. Mark’s advice applies to every couple, and is always so thoughtful:

Step away from wedding websites

Detach yourselves from the internet. It’s all too easy to want what everyone else has, and to accept that what you see on your screen is how a wedding ‘should’ look. It’s so interesting how instagram pushes out ideas: I once had two different brides show me the same photo of a tray of drinks they’d seen online. Imagine how many couples around the country had seen that same image and used it as wedding inspiration! Instead of scouring socials for ideas,  engage with things you already like and would use in life. For example, the colour you use in your home, or your own favourite flowers – it doesn’t matter if they’re on trend or not – use those!

Be confident in who you are!

Rather than falling into the trap of wedding conformity, be yourselves. Don’t conform to what you normally do at a wedding. Don’t follow tradition simply because you think it’s expected – a wedding is tradition enough! Instead, only choose traditional elements that really resonate with you. The rest of your day – from the styling to the timeline and after party – can be exactly how YOU want it to be.

And be confident in your choices. Those little doubts are something everyone experiences. If you feel unsure of the decisions you’ve made remember it’s natural to feel that way. Even the most confident-looking person out there won’t always feel as confident as they seem on the outside. Those things you love – the flowers your granny had in her garden, or the colours which light up your heart and soul – trust that your instincts are good, and be confident they’re perfect for a wedding which will feel authentically and beautifully yours.

I asked our lovely English Wedding members for their advice too. They’ve shared some gems in their advice!

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Essex wedding photographer Ross Willsher

Start with you and what lights you up. Incorporate personal vows and base your decisions on what you both feel good about, not what will impress guests or look good on social media.

Omit traditions and elements that mean little to you or make you feel uncomfortable.

Look for inspiration in your own interests and passions; be it fashion, culture, literature & art, and remember your wedding does not have to be based on other weddings you have been to or see online.

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Lake District wedding photographer Mark Battista

From a photography point of view, when a wedding feels like the couple, the photos come alive. It’s the laughter, the relaxed moments, and the little quirks that tell your story best. Nobody does you as well as you.

Focus less on tradition for tradition’s sake and more on what actually reflects you two. Think about the things that make your relationship unique — shared hobbies, your story, your vibe — and weave those into the day. That could be in the location, the music, your outfits, or even the way the ceremony is structured. Don’t be afraid to ditch formalities if they don’t feel like you.

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Buckinghamshire & UK wedding planner Mel at Your Story Events

Personality and authenticity is what your wedding day should be about. I would ask couples to think about their personal style or home style and vibe, what they enjoy doing together, special locations with meaning, places they have visited/lived, do they like a particular food or drink, do they have pets, these are all things that we can bring into the day.

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Luxury destination and Jewish wedding planner Elegante by Michelle J

The key to making your wedding feel personal and authentic is creativity. Forget everything you think you know about how a wedding ‘should’ go, and don’t get caught up in a comparisonitis crisis by paying too much attention to what other people are doing.

• If the idea of a sit-down dinner doesn’t excite you, you can host your reception as a big party with food passed around instead.
• If you really don’t like flowers, swap blooms for balloons or other types of decor.
• If you want to have a first look before your ceremony, have one, and if you don’t then don’t!

Personalising your day comes down to infusing yourself in the details – this could be handwritten notes for your guests, your favourite mini drinks bottles as escort cards, your dog walking down the aisle with you…

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Cotswolds wedding photographer Barbara Asboth

I think personal vows are a great place to start; apart from being unique to you and the special aspects of your relationship, they’ll also give your guests a chance to get to know both of you a bit better, elicit laughs or tears, and get the whole crowd emotionally involved even more. I also think there’s no “right” way to do anything, so I would advise you to do whatever you feel like; you only get one wedding if all goes well, so it should make you excited, not stressed! If you don’t want to give a speech or do a first dance (many of my couples don’t) – then don’t!

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Claire at Grainmarket Alpacas in Hampshire

There is nothing wrong in dreaming big and airing those dreams out loud can be pivotal in making your wedding a completely unique and personal celebration. Personalisation goes beyond just the couple: it’s about making the day an extension of your story for your guests too.

We have a lovely team of alpacas we bring to weddings, so we ask our couples how much involvement they’d like the alpacas to have on the day. They can be ring bearers, bridesmaids, or just provide a bit of entertainment in between the ceremony and breakfast. If a couple are really into the alpacas, we might suggest a personal photoshoot before the day itself. Couples could add the images to wedding invitations as a teaser for guests of the surprises to come! Adding in petting stations, alpaca walks and feeding sessions on the day will all add to create a beautiful, immersive – and very memorable – experience.

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And finally, a little advice from Claire at By Moon & Tide Calligraphy*

Cull your instagram feed. Unfollow any wedding channels which constantly bombard you with aspirational but generic wedding styling (overabundant flowers worth thousands, opulent styling which doesn’t match your budget, suits and dresses which just don’t feel like ‘you’). Instead, find heroes who’ll be a constant reminder that a wedding can be anything you want it to be. Try @rebellovedirectory @jordannamarstonphoto and @kimwilliamsweddings

If you like details – and remember, you don’t have to – focus on personalising your guests’ experience. Have their names written by hand (and don’t dismiss your own scribbly handwriting – it will make things even more personal and the words matter more than beauty!) or if you’ve time, use photos of favourite moments you’ve shared with them.

*this is me, Claire from English Wedding, with another hat on!

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You might enjoy these advice articles on planning authentic weddings, which I’ve found on the internet for you – they’re all really inspiring and thought-provoking and I hope you like them.

• • The number one piece of wedding planning advice from recently married couples is ‘Be True To Yourself! – Parrot & Pineapple
  • How to plan an intentional, sincere and authentic wedding – Micaela Karina
  • 10 secret tips no one tells you about your wedding – Zoe Larkin
  • I’ll take an authentic wedding over a perfect wedding any day – Love and Latitudes