Ever feel like no one is explaining the basics of wedding planning? I’ve read dozens of articles about how to choose a wedding photographer, and they’ll often say it’s important to have a Zoom / Teams “discovery” call with your photographer before you book. Lots of photographers also encourage couples to have a pre-wedding photo session before the big day – and it’s all about getting to know your wedding photographer. But why is it so important you get to know your wedding photographer at all? Today’s Gen Z nearlyweds are used to making purchases online: if a photographer’s website already says everything about them, why so much focus on ‘getting to know them’ before you book? Let me explain, as best I can.

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TL;DR – wedding photographers have been doing discovery / introduction calls for decades, because for them it’s important to get to know their couples – and couples who value photography will understand how close their photographer will be to them and their families on one of the biggest days of their lives. For a big purchase like wedding photography, due diligence is important: asking questions means both parties care and understand the importance of wedding photography. Booking a bad photographer – or a bad couple! – is a mistake with long term impacts. Perhaps the timing of a long discovery conversation is key: long calls should be reserved for your shortlist of photographers – ideally, you’ll only need one!

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I’m writing this blog after listening to an episode of The Vendor Table podcast. Mike and Lauren discussed a discussion off the back of a bride’s TikTok saying discovery calls should last no longer than 15 minutes. She said she simply didn’t have time for epic calls with wedding suppliers, and “if you can’t sell someone on your product or service within 15 minutes, I’m sorry – you’re not good at your job.”

It’s easy to assume reluctance to have long discovery calls is a Gen Z thing: I lose count of all the reels I’ve seen from wedding suppliers panicking that Gen Z are approaching wedding planning in a whole new way – but I don’t think that’s it. I think the willingness to have in-depth conversations before booking suppliers comes down to personality types rather than generational differences.

To be clear, I disagree with the TikTok bride-to-be. I feel she’d massively missed the point of discovery calls – but it’s an interesting conversation at a time when a lot of wedding suppliers are struggling to fill their diaries. And it’s important to remember that every couple is different, and that some will prioritise photography, but others won’t. Since you’re here, reading a wedding blog, I’m guessing photography will be high on your priority list.

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Hiring a wedding photographer is more than a business transaction

I saw a reddit thread where someone described booking a wedding photographer as a business transaction. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most UK couples hire a photographer who’ll be with them for minimum half a day, and potentially 12 hours or more. Spending that amount of time in someone’s company makes it more than a business transaction.

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Photographers have been booking weddings this way for decades

Experienced wedding photographers publish some of the best advice articles for couples you’ll ever see online. (I’m proud to say some of our English Wedding members are leading the way in the articles they publish here.) These articles show they care, and show they are deeply invested in helping couples. With experience comes knowledge and expertise. So if a photographer with 10 years experience recommends a long chat before you book, you should trust in their reason for doing so.

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Wedding photography is a two-way relationship: it has to be

Imagine your wedding day. You’ll be spending as many hours in the company of your photographer as you will with the person you marry. Your photographer will meet your friends, your parents and your wider family. You’re going to need to trust them.

So on that discovery call, there are questions you should ask: not just about their editing style and approach, but enough so you’ll know, for example, that they’re not a massive petrolhead if you’re deeply into climate and conservation. Perhaps that’s extreme: my point is you’ll need to enjoy being around your wedding photographer – to laugh easily, share a sense of humour, and be comfortable showing your affection with your partner and your loved ones while they’re around the periphery with their cameras.

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Due diligence is important so ask all the questions

Booking the wrong wedding photographer is a mistake that lasts a lifetime. So you’ll know you’re getting the right one, make sure you understand their style, including their editing style. Ask about their approach: will they be close to you during the ceremony, or fade into the background for most of the day? There’s a great article about choosing a documentary wedding photographer here.

Those long discovery calls should be balanced: both you* and your photographer will have questions to ask about your wedding day. The bride I mentioned at the top of this blog thought the call should be over and done with in 15 minutes. But look at it this way: is 15 minutes long enough for both parties to find out everything they need to know, to commit to spending up to 10 hours of one of the most emotional and important days of your lives together?

*Another thing that struck me about the TikTok bride: she said she was arranging calls like this in her lunch hour. It sounded like she was planning a wedding alone. To me it feels important to have these discovery calls or meetings as a couple – and a 3-way conversation is another reason to allow a little more time.

Oh – and enjoy it! Don’t dread these calls! They can be a lovely, fun part of the whole wedding planning process – and an exciting one, as you look forward to your wedding!

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Are wedding photographers asking the wrong questions?

I don’t know the answer to this. From some of the Reddits I’ve seen over the last couple of weeks, couples have implied that some photographers are reading from a script for too much of these calls. Some are also asking questions which can feel a little intrusive – for example, enquiring about the entire wedding budget and asking for social media handles on that initial call.

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Do you need a long conversation with all the photographers on your shortlist?

No. Research carefully, take your time to find a photography style you both love, and a photographer who’ll travel to your venue. (Top tip: they don’t have to live close by – most wedding photographers cover a much wider area than you’d think.)

Attend a wedding showcase or two and have a quick chat – but don’t book there and then: it’s a pressurised setting for everyone.

Look on social media – how does your photographer interact in the comments? How do they make you feel? Are their prices on their website?  Email them: are they available on your wedding date?

You might end up with a shortlist of three wedding photographers. This is key: list them in order. Who are you most drawn to?

It’s only at this point you’ll need a long conversation or discovery call. And if that works out brilliantly with the first photographer on your list, it will be the only discovery call you need.

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A better question: when is it important to get to know wedding photographers?

DO take your time to research. Discuss how important photography is to you as a couple. Remember the memories of your wedding will fade: it’s the photos that will let you relive your wedding day over and over again. Spend time together choosing your favourite photographers.

Choosing a wedding photographer shouldn’t be a quick decision, but it should be an early decision. Many UK wedding photographers open their books two years in advance. Some will already be filling their books for 2027, if not 2028.

Last minute availability is possible… but if photography is important to you, don’t leave it too late to book your wedding photographer.

Are you leaving it too late to book your wedding photographer?