I had an email in my inbox earlier this week that really hit a nerve. For one, it was all about how brides could save money on wedding stationery. No mention of grooms, completely ignoring the fact that not all weddings have a bride. It takes a second to make emails inclusive – and always makes me feel a little sad when I get emails which aren’t inclusive.

The email went on to unveil some industry secrets – or as I’d put it, propagate some wedding myths. Namely, the one about suppliers charging more for anything with ‘wedding’ in the name.

Give. Me. Strength.

So this just isn’t true, and I could point you towards hundreds of beautifully written articles by wedding designers and suppliers who pour their hearts and souls into making amazing wedding items, value their work and completely deserve the prices they charge for their products and services which make weddings special. However – I’m pretty sure most of you reading this blog are savvy enough to know that ‘saying wedding will put prices up’ is a big fat lie. In this case (the email I received) it’s a lie put out by a big online business to damage the reputation of, and take customers away from small independent brands. Nice.

So then – and I read the entire email, fuming a little bit by now! – they shared some cost saving tips with me. They recommended using cheap business cards as place names, postcards for invitations and – FFS – flyers for your orders of service and menus. Flyers?!! Those floppy, shiny things on super thin paper?

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Oh, and I forgot they called out “one prominent wedding stationer” for “offering 100 wedding invites at a staggering £210.”

Who’s staggering? If you staggered a little as you read that line, please do let me know!

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There is a price point which suits every couple when it comes to wedding stationery. Some of you will be really invested in the look and tone of your wedding, and want to make the most of beautiful stationery and signage as a key part of your decor.

For others, it might not be so important, and that’s fine! Printed or handwritten invitations aren’t essential – but they can be a beautiful addition and set the scene for your day – and £210 seems a really low price to pay for 100 invitations.

By buying from a local maker or independent designer, you can customise and personalise invitations and support a small business while you do.

As well as writing English Wedding, I make wedding stationery for a living. I’m a calligrapher. I write wedding place names and I take a lot of pride in my work.

I admire, follow and look up to a lot of wedding stationery designers who are talented, creative and wonderful people, really invested in the weddings they work on and the couples they get to know along the way. 

I’m a big fan of gorgeous fabric banners with lettering and calligraphy, and of alternative table names and all the little creative ways I’ve seen couples use stationery in styling their weddings.

I also understand that not everyone can afford expensive wedding stationery – but my advice would always be to focus on a few little personal touches which make your day really special, rather than buying in bulk, on the cheap, from a massive print factory with a crappy attitude.

If a printer contacts me with a lovely email showcasing their products, taking real pride in their customer service and – most importantly – doing it without being unkind to other businesses, then I’ll always consider sharing their products with English Wedding readers.

I have nothing against large-scale printers: but I’m always here first and foremost for the independents. They’re what makes the modern UK wedding industry so amazing – all of those little brands full of heart and soul, creating special, unique little touches for weddings, which are supposed to be really personal and intimate occasions – with every little element coming from that same place of love and care.

Right from the start, this email recognised us little independents (before going on to recommend you don’t support us) – when they said the wedding industry presents “a rich income source to small businesses and sole traders who provide everything for the big day, from dresses and flowers to cakes, entertainment and table decorations.”

This print company also quoted the average wedding cost as being over £20,000. I’ve always been really sceptical of “average budget” figures and never publish them on English Wedding – apart from today’s exception, sorry! This one was interesting because the day before I’d had an email from HSBC quoting the average cost of a UK wedding to be £13,520.

Now, I also have a marketing degree. And if there’s one thing I learned in those four years of study, it was to apply common sense to your communications. Let’s take wedding blogs, for instance: we’re supported by amazing, small independent business owners. And as a blogger since 2009, I will stand up and defend every one of those little independents fiercely when I have to!

Support small business. Shop from creative brands, locally if you can. Enjoy discovering artists and craftspeople who will care deeply about the beautiful wedding items they make for you. And if you really can’t afford to, ask around your friends. Someone with creative flair or a love of art is always, always going to make your wedding a hundred times more special than a mass print factory.

And finally… they ended their delightful little press release with a suggestion that “absent loved ones” could be represented at weddings by life-sized cutouts.

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I’m not going to tell you who this email came from. That wouldn’t be nice. But I will say it’s a brand I’d never heard of, who have a large scale business-to-business printing operation and a small wedding print section on their website. They’re clearly targeting the wedding market… but they have a lot to learn.