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Not all weddings are created equal, folks… and on your planning journey you can expect to hear some ‘interesting’ opinions about things brides ‘should’ do / have and things grooms ‘should‘ say / wear… because the preconceptions about weddings are HUGE!

Opinions come from all sides: families, the more traditional suppliers, the wedding press (you know, the pink magazines which are all about brides?) – and they’re steeped in tradition. Weddings have so much patriarchal baggage it’s a journey in itself to tackle the preconceptions head on and come up with a day that’s just right for you both – in equal measures!

Smashing the patriarchy on your wedding day is about both of you. It’s about picking and choosing the traditions you’ll keep, and switching everything up to turn the more misogynistic rituals on their heads. Here’s some tips to make your equal wedding super awesome. We’ve dotted this post with some glorious images by super London wedding photographer Jordanna Marston, whose fun, vibrant, alternative wedding photography style fits this theme beautifully. You can check out Jordanna’s wedding portfolio here.

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Etiquette is a word which turns me cold. It just implies a ton of rules and regulations, and the risk of doing things ‘wrong’ – and planning a wedding is hard enough without having to worry about wordings and receiving lines and whose name goes first, right? Etiquette and traditions go pretty much hand in hand, and I’m all for burning the rule book and doing things your own way – who’s with me?

Image by Jenny Heyworth for Aspire on the English Wedding Blog (28)

So I had a little chat with a few friends on our Facebook page the other day. Here’s a list of 4 brilliant wedding traditions we love… and 9 we really do seem to hate!

Traditions we still love…

1. Confetti. Paper and petals, laughter and celebration!

“My favourite wedding tradition is confetti. From both a bride and a videographer point of view it always makes for a wonderful photo/video moment. Everyone’s so happy and excited, it’s a proper ‘yey we are married’ moment for me!” Charlene, Love Gets Sweeter

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Occasionally I lurk on wedding forums… it’s a habit I’ve indulged since I started my little calligraphy business back in 2005. And this week I came across a little discussion about throwing the bouquet. With my mind very much on wedding traditions this month (we’ve a few interesting features up our sleeves) I was very curious to find out people’s opinions on bouquet tossing! With some of the amazing bouquets I’ve seen at weddings recently, I can’t imagine that throwing it would be a) physically possible, b) anything less than heartbreaking and c) financially viable!

I’d love to know your thoughts – will you throw your bouquet?

Join our little facebook discussion – is the flying bouquet a good thing?

The pros:

It’s a sweet tradition, in a way – all the girls get together for a little bit of harmless fun.

The rest of the crowd like to see who really wants that catch, and who’s trying to hide at the back – I get it. It can be hugely entertaining!

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Traditions play such a huge part in weddings – from ‘something blue’ to top table etiquette, there are so many old-fashioned rules you can choose to take inspiration from on your big day. I personally think every wedding tradition should be seen as an interesting idea to consider, rather than a hard and fast rule to follow – but it’s nice to know the history behind them. Today’s guest blog is by Catherine on behalf of The Royal Mint! Enjoy 🙂

Coins and weddings – why a silver sixpence?

In the run up to the big day, most brides will have the ‘something old, something new’ saying thrown their way quite a few times. It is a tradition which we are all familiar with, and many brides today still choose to collect the four items of the mantra for good luck. But did you know there are actually five objects in the original rhyme? The full rhyme, dating back to the Victorian era, is as follows:

Something old, something new,
something borrowed, something blue,
and a silver sixpence in her shoe.