Hi, my name is Megan and I absolutely love weddings. Dressing up for them, crying at them and most definitely eating at them. Hopefully I’m in good company!

I’ve been lucky enough to attend quite a few over the years, as a guest, a bridesmaid, and once as the person frantically grabbed at the last minute to pin buttonholes before the ceremony. Somewhere in all of that, I noticed that the weddings I remember most fondly are almost never the ones with generic wedding favours. And if I’m honest, those end up in my “miscellaneous items” drawer and pretty much never see the light of day.

Guests have taken a whole day out of their lives to be with you on your special day. What they carry home afterwards is rarely the trinket you left by their plate; it’s that feeling of being welcome, looked after, and genuinely loved and appreciated.

So before you add favours to the long list of things you’re told you “simply must buy,” here are the ways I’ve seen couples say thank you that actually make them smile. Some of these cost nothing. A couple involve a small treat, if you fancy one. None of them ask you to overspend to feel like a good host.

Start with the part that matters most: actually saying it

The most meaningful thank you is also the cheapest. A few warm, specific words during the speeches, or said quietly to people one at a time through the day, can be worth more than anything you can wrap. I still remember how a cousin of mine brought us all to tears when she said a special thank you to our grandma who brought the cake she had been baking us for twenty odd years, despite how difficult it had become for her to move around in her later years.

You could name the people who travelled a long way, the ones who helped you get here, the friend who calmed your nerves that morning. Guests love being seen. If speeches make you want to hide under the table (entirely fair, I’ve been there), a short line in the order of the day or on a welcome sign does the same job.

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A handwritten note goes a long way

If you want something at each place setting, a handwritten note is personal, and it doubles as a keepsake. One or two honest sentences about why that person matters to you turns a name card into something people quietly pocket and keep. I’ve still got one from a friend. She wrote her thank you to me for being her bridesmaid on the back of a laminated photograph we had taken in the early years of our friendship (when we were convinced we’d be single forever) and it’s a reminder of a special memory.

It takes time rather than money – and much longer than you’d expect it to! – so spread it over a few evenings in the run-up rather than the night before. For bigger guest lists, a single heartfelt note of thanks from the newlyweds, framed or written on a board by the entrance, works beautifully and keeps it manageable.

Make people feel genuinely looked after

Hospitality is a thank you in itself. A drink and somewhere to sit when guests arrive, shade or shelter if the weather turns, clear signage so nobody’s wandering a country lane looking for the loo, or even a quiet corner for anyone who needs five minutes goes a long way. I recall being genuinely impressed when we were given blankets when the sun went down at a winter wedding, and honestly, people talked about it more than the band! Little touches like that tell guests you were thinking about them while you planned… and that you appreciate them wearing spaghetti straps in 10°C!

It matters even more for anyone who finds big events tiring or overwhelming. A bit of thought there is worth more than any favour.

Feed them well, and send them off with something if you like

Good food and drink is one of the kindest ways to look after people. If you would also like to send guests home with a small something, keep it simple and keep it consumable, so it gets enjoyed rather than dropped in a drawer or, worse, a bin.

A little box of edible wedding favours is the easy choice here: it suits almost any style of day, it works for most guests, and a sweet treat for the journey home is the kind of small gesture people actually appreciate. I’ve definitely eaten mine on the drive home more than once.

Thank the people behind the scenes too

It’s easy to focus on guests and forget the people who made the day happen: the friend who did your flowers, the relative who drove the cake across three counties (and talked about it for months afterwards), the suppliers who quietly went above and beyond. A genuine word, a thank you afterwards, or a kind review for a supplier who looked after you costs little and means a great deal.

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A thank you after the day

When your wedding day ends, your gratitude doesn’t have to. Sending short message to guests in the week afterwards, sharing a folder of photos once you’ve had them back from your photographer, or a simple handwritten note to the people who helped most, will all be received warmly precisely because they’re unexpected. It’s a lovely, low-cost way to close the loop.

However you choose to do it, thank your guests in a way that feels like you. That’s what really makes people feel appreciated before, during and after the day. They’ll remember the warmth long after they’ve forgotten what was prettily wrapped and sat on their tables.