It’s December, time for festive cheer! So, it probably feels a little strange that today I’m bringing you a piece titled ‘wedding day regrets’ but bear with me, I promise it will be worth it!
Nothing saddens me more than listening to the words “if I could do it all again I wish I would have…” and, if you are a 2018 bride to be heading into the year of your wedding, you have the wonderful luxury of time and the fabulous opportunity that comes with it to avoid those wedding day regrets I hear about too often.
Photography credits: Kate McCarthy from this beautiful wedding
VIDEOGRAPHERS
Too many couples dismiss the idea of a videographer without properly looking into it. Some can’t understand the value in having one (“I have an amazing photographer, why do I need one) or they think that they would prefer to spend their budget elsewhere. Sometimes they have the perception that a wedding film will be cheesy or a little naff or perhaps they imagine an obtrusive film crew who will kill the spirit of the day. Sound familiar? There are some amazing videographers out there whose work is quite frankly epic, spine tingling I’m going to throw a couple out to make my point – This Modern Revelry and Roost Films. Neither of these fits anywhere near a stereotype of ‘film crew’ take over! To the contrary, a little like the trend for more fly on the wall photography, the videographers I’ve worked with and recommend blend into your day. Wedding videography has moved on and can capture the emotion the spirit, the essence of your wedding in a very different way to just photography and, if it’s a question of budget, it’s worth a big think about the investment in the grand scheme of the entire wedding budget or seeing if you can make savings elsewhere.
PLEASING EVERYONE
Twice in my life have I been in the situation where it feels like everyone has an opinion and everyone wants to input leaving me feel totally overwhelmed and driving me slightly bonkers. The first was when I was planning my own wedding and the second was after the birth of my first child. I’m not sure what it is about major life events but you’ll find everyone will want to impart some ‘helpful’ advice and have their say. If you’re currently in the throes of planning I guarantee you can think of at least a handful of examples! Whilst most of it is well meant, it still doesn’t mean it will all be helpful. Remember this is your wedding day, it’s a declaration and celebration of your love as a couple and that’s what counts. There will be some things where you may need to concede a little (guests list, whether or not you allow any children are typical examples) but on the whole try and stick true to you as a couple.
WET WEATHER PLAN, WHAT WET WEATHER PLAN?
A very practical one but if you are getting married in the UK and any part of your plans are outside, have a wet weather plan, please. I promise nothing will raise your stress levels more on the day of your wedding if you don’t and it happens to be torrential outdoors. Winging it or hoping for the best isn’t the best option. If you have a wedding planner this will absolutely already have been considered but, if not, chat to your venue – ask them what the contingencies are and make sure that the contingency still works for you.
YOUR A-TEAM
Having the right suppliers on board to pull off your big day is super crucial. Don’t ever feel pressured into choosing a supplier without having taken the time to decide if they are right for you. These guys will be your A-team leading up to and on the big day and you’ll want to make sure you’ve the best team for you. Do your research, check out their credentials, follow their social media posts – do everything you need to make sure you’re happy and, if you have even the slightest niggle (you can’t always get hold of them when you need to, you feel like they just don’t ‘get’ what it is you are asking…) then don’t book or find an alternative.
SAVING MONEY THE WRONG WAY
There are two ways that couples try and save money that can lead to wedding regrets. The first is trying to save money on the wrong things. I’m going to use photography as an example. You have a friend/friend of a friend who wants to get into photography or dabbles in their spare time and has offered to do it for free or a knock down price so you go for it – it means you’ll be able to afford the wedding favours, the fairy lights, the expensive table plan etc etc. To me, trying to save on the key stuff, the stuff you’ll cherish forever that captures the memories of your day isn’t the best choice.
The second way that couples try and save money that often makes me edgy is by taking on too much themselves, I’m talking wedding DIY. By the time you’ve bought all the individual parts and pieces to put it all together you would be surprised at how much you’ve actually spent. Oh and I haven’t even covered the investment of your precious time in pulling it all together. I am all about adding your personal style to your wedding day but not if it’s really not you and if it’s going to cause you more stress to do so don’t do it! Even if you do save money, chances are you’ll have spent more of the emotional tank getting there. Do not get me wrong. I’ve seen it work brilliantly where the bride and her entire family were blessed with amazingly creative and artistic abilities. It was amazing. I’ve seen it work like this, without hiccup or fluster, once.
HOLDING ON TO THE REINS
It’s your wedding day, you’ve put your heart and soul into every little detail and you’re so excited! You completely deserve to enjoy it but you can’t because you’re worrying about who will make sure all the little details of your day, that are in your head, will happen? Who will make all those little decisions on the day when things just ‘crop up’? I think everyone on their wedding day needs their right hand man/woman. Someone you trust completely who knows your wishes and ‘gets it’. This could be a best friend, a supplier who is there on the day, a wedding planner or family member. Whoever it is make sure you have one.
Lovely English Wedding Blog sponsor Jenna Hewitt is writing a series of articles following one of her couples’ wedding planning journeys, which we’ll be publishing on these pages throughout the year. Previous features if you missed them are:
- How to put together your wedding style
- Finding your perfect wedding venue
- Honest & inspiring advice on finding ‘the’ dress
- 9 genius tips on how to handle children at weddings
Jenna HewittKate McCarthy PhotographyregretsWeddings by Jenna Hewitt
1 COMMENT
Robin Goodlad
2 years ago
A really great post, and all so true! it is natural to worry when you put your heart and soul in to your wedding, but also when the day arrives, you need to step back, relax, trust your suppliers, and ENJOY the day. I see so many couples worrying about things they really don’t need to on the day, and it means they aren’t enjoying themselves as much as they should. Looking back this is something to regret, especially if nothing actually went wrong.