No one should ever, ever, feel pressured to lose weight for their wedding. Here’s why.
Image credit: Allure Bridals Larissa dress comes in sizes 0-30
10am and it’s been an interesting morning here already. In my inbox, a survey of brides with statistics on weight loss. And this always makes me uncomfortable. I’ve always felt strongly that this kind of messaging is WRONG. We’re put under so much pressure to be a certain shape and size – and why? Because somewhere out there, an extremely rich guy in a suit is making money from everyone who wants to lose weight.
Seriously. Who’s at the very top of Weight Watchers, or PureGym? Or even Noom? Who profits from Mounjaro and Wegovy and online pharmacies? Very, very rich people. (You can check – or you can trust me that there are private investors worth many millions behind all of these companies.)
And then we look at the wedding industry, and the growing conversation around weight loss in the run up to weddings. And I feel like curling into a ball and sobbing. Because now super fast weight loss is accessible to almost everyone who can afford it, more and more people are using injections – perhaps with long-term consequences, we just don’t know yet – to fit into a smaller size wedding outfit.
So. I was sent a press release by one of those online pharmacies which sell weight loss injections. The unspoken deal with this kind of thing is, you publish their surveys but you have to include a link back to them in the article. (The link benefits the pharmacy, brings them more customers. It’s supposed to be a win-win.) Fuck that. I’ll join in the conversation, but I’m not promoting pre-wedding weight loss to anyone. It’s a scam. It’s cruel. (Yes, it’s personal choice, and I’d never judge you for taking them, if you feel you have no other choice. I’ve used these drugs – but I was losing weight for a heart condition, not for a dress.)
If I could share just one piece of advice and not be scared of upsetting people, it would be this: focus on your confidence in the run up to your wedding, not your weight. Learn to love your body, your mind, your soul. See yourself the way your other half sees you: they don’t want you to be thinner, they adore you as you are right now. Refuse to lose weight for your wedding: you don’t need to.
So this press release was super interesting when I delved a bit deeper. Because it came from an online pharmacy but included comment from a bridal boutique – and that boutique is amazing. The first word on Dotty Bridal‘s website is EMPOWERING. (Literally.) I’m in! I wonder if they’d used owner Shannon’s quote a little out of context: “We’re witnessing a growing issue within the industry linked to the rise in weight loss. Dramatic body changes in a shorter period, mean that dresses which once fit perfectly during fittings can suddenly require extensive, complex alterations or in some cases, cannot be adjusted enough to fit safely or beautifully, resulting in heightened stress for both parties.”
Because while the pharmacy’s advice was to start your weight loss journey early, the advice Shannon gives on Dotty Bridal’s instagram is clear as crystal: “Please do not go on a weight loss injection when you have bought your wedding dress.”
What if you really want to lose weight though? What if you’re self conscious about how you look?
You’re not alone. The media has always pressured people to look a certain way – there have been campaigns against fashion magazines using exclusively skinny models since before I was born. Our access to media is constant. Twenty years ago, you’d have picked up a magazine once or twice a week. Now social media is taking up hours of our lives, every day – and the message remains the same: that a certain body shape is ideal. That normal people should spend money (in the gym, on weight loss drugs, etc) to aim for perfection.
It’s not true. And yet so many of us believe what we’re shown online. It’s hard not to.
There is nothing wrong with being healthier, if you feel you could eat better, be stronger – that’s a wonderful, long-term goal.
If you really want to lose weight for your wedding, figure out why.
Is it because everything on your screen is telling you you’re not perfect? Remember – nothing on your socials reflects the wonderful, kind, warm hearted and LOVED person that you are.
Ask people who love you for an honest opinion on whether you should lose weight.
Ask your parents and grandparents. Ask friends you really trust. Ask the person you love most in the world.
Go to a bridal or suit-fitting appointment in a place with honest, kind people. Somewhere like Dotty Bridal. The best boutiques and tailors are the ones which make you feel amazing just as you are.
Wedding planning should be something you enjoy, and while a few lovely endorphins from exercise will boost your mood and help with stress, no one should ever feel they have to lose weight for their wedding.
Full disclosure: I’ve used a weight loss drug. I have a heart condition and was dangerously close to the really bad colour on the BMI charts. I had knee, hip and foot problems. I’m now healthier, a semi-regular runner (I stop often to look at birds and chat to cows!) and I look pretty much the same shape. I feel great – because I spend time in the open air with my heart beating fast. The drugs kick started my journey – but I stopped taking them after 3 months and I wouldn’t recommend them to anyone without serious health problems.
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