Men are more susceptible to wedding stress than women, and other interesting facts from Kalms

I had a little chuckle when Lydia from Kalms offered me some freebies – I already have plenty! (I took my driving test and my motorbike test this summer… I also run my own wedding business and I’m sure I’m not the only self-employed creative person who will recommend Kalms!) Nonetheless, this is a very interesting – and worrying – survey about the stress of planning a wedding. I would love to hear what you think of the results. Any surprises? Are you and your other half feeling the stress of wedding planning?

English country garden wedding Moment Photography

Sophie and Jonathan’s top tip: “Keep calm and enjoy it. You have done everything you can so just let things flow…but do have delegated responsibilities for the best man / maid of honour etc… It will take most of the stress away.” (Click the image to see their wedding)

Kalms reveals the stress factors of getting married

  • Nearly a fifth of Brits rank getting married as the most stressful life event
  • Wedding planning puts more strain on men than women
  • Financial worries still key cause of anxiety

A report released today by Kalms, the number one selling range of herbal stress remedies, not only identifies the most stressful life events, but also provides an insight into the specific triggers that cause these transitional periods to be stressful.

The research of 2,000 men and women from across the UK, in line with National Stress Awareness Day, which was on the 6th of November, reveals that almost a fifth (18%) of Brits feel that getting married is the most stressful life event and that men feel the strain even more than women.

Somerford Hall wedding by Andrew Ward

Kate and Scott’s advice is to “Take time to just stand back and take it all in. Everyone at your wedding is there to celebrate the best day of your lives, so don’t sweat the small stuff and enjoy it!” (Click to see their wedding on the blog)

Moving house was revealed as the most challenging experience of a lifetime though with over a third (37%) of those surveyed stated that moving is the most stressful life event, closely followed by having a baby (34%) and changing jobs (10%).

So what is it that makes planning a wedding so stressful?

Interestingly and surprisingly, men find wedding planning more stressful than women, with 23% of men stating that weddings are the most stressful life event, compared to 16% of women.

Deciding who to include on the guest list was at the root of wedding stress, with nearly half of those surveyed (44%) stating that deciding who to invite is the most difficult element of planning the occasion.

Keeping within budget was pinpointed as the second most stressful aspect of getting married (38%), whilst keeping everyone happy came third with 35% of people worrying more about other people than themselves on the run up to their big day.

Interfering mothers in law (23%) and overbearing family members (24%) were also highlighted as creating more chaos than calm.

As a result of the strain generated by wedding planning, a third of those surveyed reported that they felt stressed and anxious. A quarter (25%) experienced a loss of sleep and 18% of the survey respondents admitted that the stress caused them to argue with their partner. In addition, women in particular were prone to comfort eating and bursting into tears on the run up to their big day. Only 3% reported a loss of sex drive and 40% were unaffected by stress.

Planning a Wedding – The Top 5 most stressful aspects for MEN

  1. The guest list 39%
  2. Keeping within budget 36%
  3. Keeping everyone happy 28%
  4. Worrying about speech 27%
  5. Overbearing family members 24%

Planning a Wedding – The Top 5 most stressful aspects for WOMEN

  1. The guest list 46%
  2. Keeping within budget 40%
  3. Keeping everyone happy 38%
  4. Worrying about how you will look on the day / fitting into the wedding dress 29%
  5. Choosing the perfect wedding dress 28%

Sophia Davis, one of the UK’s leading transformational life coaches, said: “There are always great expectations that underpin a wedding day. In our competitive society, it’s all about keeping up with trends and the results of the Kalms Annual Stress Report show it’s becoming increasingly difficult to fulfil the level ?of perfection that we create in our heads for our dream day.”

Sophia’s tips to avoid or minimise wedding planning stress:

  1. Agree on an affordable budget and be open-minded on considerations such as seating plans and venue.
  2. Keep the focus on the reason for the marriage and the bigger picture to stop you getting caught up in the drama that can come from placing too much importance on small details.
  3. Try to make the journey to marriage fun and light-hearted, and communicate with those involved about the things that you would be willing to compromise on, and those which you won’t.
  4. Be open to help while at the same time make your boundaries clear to avoid unnecessary conflicts with family members and friends and help everyone feel involved and in the wedding loop.
  5. A good friend, coach or counsellor can help you to regain perspective on your situation and turn challenges into opportunities and herbal remedies can also help during times of stress.

Kalms Day is a traditional herbal remedy used for the temporary relief of stress symptoms such as mild anxiety, based on traditional use only. Kalms Day is available in most leading supermarkets and chemists and is available in blister packs containing a two week supply of 42 tablets, RRP £5.10.

For more information please go to

Image credits: Moment Photography for Sophie and Jonathan’s English country garden inspired wedding and Andrew Ward for Kate and Scott’s traditional English wedding, both shown above

Do you have any top tips to share with other brides and grooms for avoiding wedding stress? It’s a big issue and I know some of you really struggle while others take it all in their stride. Let me know if wedding planning stress is affecting you, and perhaps we can look at some more features which will help. Claire xxx

Claire Gould

Claire spends her days writing - either in beautiful calligraphy or online. She lives on the edge of the English Lake District only minutes away from the beach, where she loves to escape and unwind. Claire's calligraphy can be found at Claire launched the English Wedding Blog in November 2009 - it's been a top 10 UK wedding blog ever since, with a regional focus we hope you LOVE.



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