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Why you won’t need to ban tweeting at your wedding

Hands up if you’re considering putting up signs to let your guests know tweeting is banned at your wedding… ah. No one? It seems common sense could win this one after all. Let me explain:

I had an email from WeddingDays.co.uk about social media etiquette at weddings. They suggest that modern wedding guests might be tempted to share your first kiss on facebook, broadcast your first dance on YouTube and tweet throughout your wedding day. Their article could set alarm bells ringing, maybe… unless you’re only inviting nice, normal, considerate people to your wedding! See what you think…

“It seeps into every part of our 21st century lives and is second nature to most of us, so why on earth would weddings be an exception to the ‘intrusion’ of social media? What is mere etiquette when you can share the newly-weds’ first kiss with hundreds of your Facebook friends at the click of a button? And what’s mere decorum as opposed to Tweeting about the mother-of-the-bride’s awful dress sense, especially when there is little precedent for such conundrums?

“But while many are happy to live out most parts of their lives through social media it would seem many brides and grooms would like to retain a little bit of good old-fashioned ‘privacy’ when it comes to their wedding days. While just a few years ago it was only celebrities keen to protect multi-million pound magazine deals who banned guests from using mobile phones at their weddings, nowadays it seems ordinary couples are imposing similar rules in a bid to keep their special days a social media-free zone.

“Elki Parmar of wedding site WeddingDays.co.uk spoke to brides and grooms about their thoughts on social media usage at their weddings. She said: “There are many brides and grooms who don’t wish for their first dance to be on YouTube within minutes or for guests to provide a minute-by-minute commentary through their social media feeds and who go as far as banning their guests from using phones during the ceremony.”

While many felt that social media played an important role in involving loved ones who would not be present on their wedding day, many others were of the opinion that guests should keep their social media outputs relating to their wedding – during the wedding at least – to a minimum. It was important to them that their wedding retained a sense of intimacy and privacy and the intrusion of social media can take that away for some.”

With wedding season in full flow chances are most people will be heading to a ceremony or two and Elki has some advice on navigating the social media code. She said: “Even though it feels like an extension of their lives for many people, it’s important to remember that social media is still relatively new and as such there isn’t really an established etiquette when it comes to the mix of social media and weddings so it can be a challenge for guests, but in most instances common sense is enough to go by.”

“For example, keep your phone on silent, don’t tap away during the ceremony and just enjoy being at the wedding. You’re witnessing someone you love make a momentous commitment to someone they love; it’s a special moment and should be enjoyed and cherished, not necessarily Facebooked and Tweeted.”

WeddingDays.co.uk is an online wedding directory

I love it. My favourite bit: “it can be a challenge for guests” not to tweet, share and use their mobile phones throughout the wedding. Really?!! If you’re worried about your wedding guests behaving like this, don’t invite them! Honestly – if you know someone who’d even consider uploading and commenting all your wedding day pics and stories throughout the day, just leave them off the guest list. Problem solved, surely?

Claire Gould

Claire spends her days writing - either in beautiful calligraphy or online. She lives on the edge of the English Lake District only minutes away from the beach, where she loves to escape and unwind. Claire's calligraphy can be found at www.byMoonandTide.com. Claire launched the English Wedding Blog in November 2009 - it's been a top 10 UK wedding blog ever since, with a regional focus we hope you LOVE.

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