3 Questions Every Chief Bridesmaid Should be Able to Answer

Good morning everyone! Today I have an advice feature for you to share with your chief bridesmaid or maid of honour, written by the very lovely Rebecca Lee – who happens to be a bit of an expert when it comes to hen weekends and more. So do have a read and pass Rebecca’s tips on to your best girls – I’ll be posting a link to this feature on my facebook page for you all as well. Enjoy! Claire xxx

bridesmaids UK wedding

Beautiful bride Anisha and her gorgeous bridesmaids – see the feature by clicking on the image. Photo credit by Sam Johnson Photography

So your best friend has just got engaged and as her best friend / sister or close family member she has asked you to be her chief bridesmaid. Amazing! This is a great role in the wedding party, but it is also one of responsibility. To make sure you enjoy the lead up to the big day and the wedding itself, here are some great tips on what you should know as the chief bridesmaids or maid of honour.

1. Know your role

It’s so exciting to be chief bridesmaid and it makes the preparations all the more fun, so it’s best to know what you’re the bride to be is expecting you to help with. Maybe have a chat over coffee and ask her what she would like you to organise, help with or be there for. It could be she only really wants you to plan the hen party, or it could be she expects you to attend all her dress fittings and be her right hand women in all aspects of the wedding planning. Having a list of your responsibilities that you and the bride to be have agreed is a nice way of getting involved without overstepping the line.

2. To Hen party or not to Hen party

Usually one of the main roles of the chief bridesmaid is to organise hen weekends, so you will want to be able to answer the question ‘what kind or hen party would she like? There is so much choice out there from chocolate making to seduction classes. If you want to plan it as a surprise, a great tip is to create a hen do scale with activities from hot to cold. Hot being a stripper show and clubbing night and cold being a spa weekend away. Get the bride to score where she would like the hen party to sit, which will give you an indication of what she has in mind, but keeping the exact details until the day.

If you’re feeling super creative, then consider making a few hen party mood boards, based on the themes you think she will like the most. Cut out photos from magazines with décor designs, food and drink recipes and colour patches and let the bride to be pick the one she likes the most. Why not get all the hens involved and see what everyone comes up with?

North Yorkshire DIY wedding

Photo credit Geoff Kirby Photography – click to see the full wedding


As the chief bridesmaid you might be expected to make decisions on behalf of the bride, especially on the wedding day. There will be lots going on and there may be wedding suppliers asking where to place flowers or what time you want the canapés ready. This is when you want to be thinking WWBD (what would the bride do) and help to make decisions that she may be too busy or not want to have to deal with.

I hope these questions and ideas will help you to be a super chief bridesmaid if you are already one or if in the near future you become one. Also If you have any ideas you can suggest please leave a comment below , I would love to hear them.

Rebecca is an event organiser at who speaks to thousands of brides to be, maids of honour and chief bridesmaids, and is well equipped to offer advice and ideas on hen parties

Claire Gould

Claire spends her days writing - either in beautiful calligraphy or online. She lives on the edge of the English Lake District only minutes away from the beach, where she loves to escape and unwind. Claire's calligraphy can be found at Claire launched the English Wedding Blog in November 2009 - it's been a top 10 UK wedding blog ever since, with a regional focus we hope you LOVE.



  • Belinda Mccarthy
    8 years ago

    Great idea for a blog post!

    Can I also add, (and this comes under WWBD I guess) that the chief bridesmaid should make sure that the bride is looked after on the day. From a photographic perspective, this should include attending the couple’s shots (if the bride wants you there) to be on hand to carry a drink, arrange her dress for shots, and have a coat ready for her if the weather is cold! All this really makes a difference on the day, and she’ll love you for it 🙂

  • Dearest Claire,
    This is a very important role and great to point this out in a blog post! I do agree strongly with Belinda’s comment, to look after the bride during a photo shoot.
    Keep those great pointers coming.
    Happy weekend to you!
    Mariette’s Back to Basics

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