If you ever hear me talk about “the bridal industry” you can shoot me. It makes me squirm, like nails on a blackboard… you know the feeling?
Do you think the wedding industry’s sexist?
I kind of understand where the phrase “bridal industry” comes from: brides are often more involved in wedding planning, especially in arranging all the finer details and decor. Many grooms aren’t interested in the flowers and favours – which is fine! If you’ve made the decision as a couple that those jobs are for girls, then great!
However, if you head to your florist together for a chat about wedding flowers, and the florist ignores you and talks to your fiancee instead… or worse, assumes you’re only there because it’s your wallet – then that’s just wrong!
And you wouldn’t be the first to find yourself in that situation either.
Most weddings involve at least one groom!
Let’s not forget that grooms start off the whole process by getting down on one knee and asking, “will you marry me?”. And I’ve heard from so many grooms who love being involved in the search for a venue, a photographer, and in choosing stationery, cakes and flowers. I love that so many of my calligraphy orders come from grooms! So why do I get the feeling that so many other wedding suppliers just assume they’ll be dealing with brides, and only brides?
I do get the impression that suppliers are ignoring grooms. Especially when I read about “the bridal industry”… I wish we could start from the assumption that couples are planning weddings together. But it’s not necessarily suppliers’ fault – because of the way the wedding industry is these days, it’s easy to forget there are men involved too. It’s become habit to talk to brides about “their day”.
Your day, your way…
One of the most popular phrases I hear – on forums, on blogs, in wedding magazines. But who is the “you” in that sentence? I don’t think it’s the groom 🙁
And weddings are just as important to men
Think forward to walking down the aisle or waiting at the altar for your bride. One of the most significant moments in your life – and a nervous, exciting and emotional day. I see plenty of grooms with tears in their eyes, proof that weddings actually mean a hell of a lot to us all.
So maybe grooms just don’t care about the fluff?
You know what I mean… the lace and pearls, the wishing trees and invitation wordings. Some aren’t interested, it’s true. Then again, some brides aren’t too bothered about all the frilly bits either.
My suspicion though, is that grooms are shunned by the wedding industry. Not in a nasty way, just from habit – a chicken and egg situation. Brides read magazines, are swamped in information (which mainly comes in pink) and given advice on everything from lingerie to canapes. Grooms… well grooms aren’t. And because the industry’s focus is on brides, suppliers forget about grooms.
Grooms: get aware, and get involved!
I’d love to hear more about grooms being involved in wedding planning. I love hearing wedding stories from grooms – in last week’s Cambridge wedding Sam and Amanda both shared their wedding report with English Wedding Blog.
The (ick) “bridal industry” is responsible for budgets spiralling out of control, and for pressure to accessorise every wedding with more frills and fluff than Marie Antoinette’s boudoir.
Grooms – don’t let suppliers put you in the back seat. If a wedding supplier directs all their talk to your bride-to-be, walk away. They shouldn’t dictate what you need for your wedding – it should be a joint decision from you and your bride.
The best thing about wedding blogs is we’re all about the real weddings. The bit we get to see is the bit where the groom always plays a big part. The frilly bits come way down the list – and the love in his eyes, the ring on his finger and the triumphant smile is what it’s all about in the end.