Days married: 19
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Yes, I am back! I am slightly nervous to be back. I don’t know why. Perhaps it has to do with not wanting to accept it’s all over – or perhaps because being ‘on the other side’ has changed my perspective about a lot of things, and caused me to realise I became quite a wedding monster during the run up to my wedding! I don’t want to say ‘Bridezilla’ – because I’m a nice girl and I wasn’t mean to anyone. I say wedding monster because I became greedy for validation. I wanted my wedding to be everywhere and I wanted everyone to know about it. I wanted my wedding to be featured on EVERY BLOG IN THE WORLD.
I totally missed the point. All that doesn’t actually matter. When you spend hours looking at other weddings you want to envisage your wedding being celebrated and appreciated by the whole world in the same way. But I don’t need that now. No one really needs that. I have my own memories. I have my own validation. I have the words from my friends and family that mean more to me than any stranger’s words could ever mean. And more importantly – I have my husband.
I was scared to admit this at the time because I didn’t think it had really happened to me. But it had. I was more obsessed with what the internet thought of me than what the people around me had to say. I do not regret becoming part of English Wedding and the wedding blogging world. But I do regret getting so wrapped up in its world that I at times neglected what was most important to me. To all of you beautiful friends I am sorry.
Remember what is truly important. You do not need to seek validation.
Photos by Phil Barber.