Planning a wedding together

For any newly engaged cou­ple, the excite­ment of this mag­i­cal time is cap­ti­vat­ing.  So many ideas, so many resources, so many influ­ences to take into account and all for one day.

With all these new and excit­ing stim­uli it’s easy for the bride to become con­sumed in the detail and logis­tics of the wed­ding and for the groom’s voice to become lost.

This is the same story that hap­pens with many cou­ples and was repeated in our case. 

My hus­band and I have known each other since we were 2 years old and are very lucky to be best friends and part­ners in every sense of the word, but when it comes to wed­dings nor­mal­ity went out the window.

As part of my dream job organ­is­ing events and wed­dings, I should have known bet­ter, but as we started plan­ning the wed­ding I became com­pletely immersed in the detail and I had not thought how to make Leigh stand out in the wed­ding party and also be the cen­tre of the atten­tion with me on our wed­ding day.

There are a huge amount of resources for brides and grooms, but not for cou­ples to man­age the process jointly.  Grooms may not have strong ideas about colours, favour ideas or rib­bon choices.  Grooms may not be act­ing as Bridezilla or wake up wor­ry­ing about metic­u­lous detail.  But grooms are still ner­vous and excited about their big day.  Grooms want to enable their gor­geous fiancée to have the day of her dreams and also to feel a part of their big day.

It is so impor­tant that right at the start of the plan­ning process ideas from both the bride and groom are taken into account.  At myr­iad genii this is at the heart of how we start work­ing with our clients plan­ning their big day, by find­ing out what both par­ties want.  As a hus­band and wife team we have the abil­ity to under­stand the bride and groom’s men­tal­ity enabling every­one to bring their ideas into the wed­ding plan and make sure that there is a strong pres­ence of both the bride and groom on the wed­ding day.

If you are not look­ing to use a wed­ding plan­ner then it is really impor­tant that right from the begin­ning you both start to lis­ten to what each per­son wants in their wed­ding day.  One idea to achieve this is to write down a list of ques­tions for both peo­ple to answer such as “What is your ideal size of wed­ding?” or “Do you want a for­mal or infor­mal wed­ding?”  Then go into sep­a­rate rooms and really think about what you want before answering. 

Once this is done come back together and go through the answers, over a nice bot­tle of wine would be good.  Make sure that you really lis­ten to each oth­ers answers, with­out ridicule or dis­missal or it could be a very short engagement!!

Com­pro­mise – this was one of the teach­ings in our wed­ding lessons and it is so impor­tant in wed­ding prepa­ra­tions.  You don’t have to com­pro­mise on your dream wed­ding, but it is a union of two peo­ple and the wed­ding may well reflect and cel­e­brate a union of two styles.

Thanks to Laura from Hamp­shire based myr­iad genii occa­sions for sub­mit­ting this article.