“The First Dance” Photo credit: Geoff Reardon (click to see Jean-Luc & Liza’s wedding)

For some couples even the thought of the ‘first dance’ induces a state of blind panic whilst for others the whole world’s a stage. Of course the majority of couples fall somewhere in between but whatever your attitude to this time-honoured tradition may be, a little planning in advance can go a long way.

1. Choosing the first dance song that’s right for you

You may already have a favourite song – perhaps one that was playing when you first met – or it may be that neither of you have a clue which song you’re going to choose. If so, don’t worry – all you have to do is Google ‘first dance songs’ and you’ll find plenty of suggestions. One word of warning though — be sure to check the lyrics before reaching a final decision. The song ‘Every Breath You Take’ by The Police sounds like ideal first dance material – until, that is, you realise it’s about a stalker! Give some thought also to the kind of tempo you’ll feel comfortable with. If you’re both competent dancers then you probably won’t mind whether it’s a foxtrot, a rumba or a waltz – but if you’re not too clever on your pins, or your partner has two left feet, then a slow song may be your safest option.

Photo credit: TwentyFour Seven wedding band

2. To choreograph or not to choreograph – that is the question

Some couples hate the idea of learning a specific routine for their first dance whilst others welcome the chance to put on a bit of a show a la Strictly Come Dancing. At the very least it makes sense to have a practice at home. You may be surprised at just how long the average song lasts and no-one wants to look (or feel) awkward during their first dance.

Should you wish to wow your guests with a stunning display then there are plenty of dance teachers out there who can help you to develop and practise a properly choreographed routine. Again, Google is the place to head.

3. Liaising with your wedding band or DJ

If you’ve booked a band to play at your reception then you’ll need to check whether they’re able to play a live version of your chosen first dance. Because modern pop songs are often produced solely within a computer it can sometimes be hard for a band to do the song justice, particularly where the band’s line-up in terms of instrumentation doesn’t lend itself to the song in question. In which case the band may suggest that they play the song via their CD player instead — or you may prefer to pick a song from the band’s existing set-list.

Bear in mind also that the first dance song you’ve chosen may have been covered by a number of different artists — so it’s worth checking with your band or DJ that they’ll be playing your favourite version.

Photo credit: TwentyFour Seven wedding band

4. First dance timings and lighting

There’s nothing wedding guests like more than taking pictures of the happy couple during the first dance. So make sure you know in advance exactly who will be announcing your first dance and at what time. Often it will be the band or DJ as they’ll be the one’s responsible for playing the music but alternatively it could be your Toastmaster (if you’ve hired one) or the father of the bride. Either way your guests will need to be given sufficient time to gather round with their cameras. Give some thought also as to whether you want your band or DJ to encourage your guests to join in – perhaps half way through.

Don’t forget to liaise with your photographer too – he or she will need to be ready to capture your special moment and may also want to speak in advance with the band, DJ and/or venue to get the right lighting.

5. Don’t forget to enjoy it!

After all that organising it’s important not to lose sight of what your first dance is all about — a celebration of your feelings for each other. This is yours and your partner’s special moment at your Reception so make sure you enjoy it to the max. You never know, you might even get a perfect 10 from Craig Revel Horwood darling!

The author is a member of 24–7, one of the leading party bands & wedding bands in Kent. If you’ve got a spare 5 mins head over to their website to find out more about them, read their FAQs and discover some of the extras they offer.

Photo credit: TwentyFour Seven wedding band

This is what English Wedding blog is all about. As well as lots of lovely real weddings, the blog was born because of my deep-rooted annoyance at our little industry. Brides, grooms: welcome to our twisted and sometimes beautiful little world. Wedding suppliers: you’ve heard bits of this before — but never quite so publicly. Awareness of the issues in the wedding industry is the first step towards change, and we need to start looking at and fixing problems before the financial and emotional pressures get too much.

Let me add a little qualifier here before I get stuck in. There are lots of fabulous, amazing, honest, genuine, creative, professional, dedicated, wonderful people in this industry. I love it — I work full time as a wedding supplier. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t love it. I have met many brilliant people — brides, grooms, suppliers — through my work. This blog post doesn’t define my world. It just sets out the wonky bits so we can all help put them straight. And I’n not criticising weddings themselves: it’s your choice to celebrate however you choose, and to spend however much you want to and can afford. But I’d love to see that choice become freer, with no outside pressures from a £5.5 billion industry…

What’s wrong with the wedding industry?

1. The wedding industry is a circus made of your money

Top of my list for a reason — the wedding industry is a great big merry old roundabout made of fifty pound notes held together with gold dust and dreams. Average wedding budgets, pressure to spend, worries about money… why should being in love cost so much?

It’s as if an engagement ring flicks a switch in our minds, and suddenly we’re cajoled into throwing caution and half our brain cells aside to spend thousands of pounds on a party. We’re encouraged to spend an insane amount of that on a dress, food and drink, and hiring an aristocrat’s house for a few hours. Fine if it’s what you’ve always dreamed of. But if you’ve been in love for a while and haven’t thought about weddings, suddenly being thrown into the world of weddings can be quite an experience.

Money is at the centre of everything in the wedding industry. When and where did this happen… surely the focus of the wedding industry should be love? Love is old-fashioned, but it’s affordable to everyone. It doesn’t take £20k to show you’re in love — but the wedding industry makes you think it will.

We’re pressured to spend, spend, spend. Wedding magazines have pages and pages of adverts and ideas-with-prices-on. Even wedding blogs full of wedding ideas can be taken the wrong way: I always try and write English Wedding blogs as ideas — without any pressure to get / spend / buy.  But when you see the wedding press and TV it’s easy to see why brides and grooms think they need to spend to have a ‘proper’ wedding.

It makes me sad that couples who can’t afford a wedding like this feel they have to live up to the industry’s own standards.

Fix it!

Only spend what you can afford, not what your venue / friends / suppliers think you can afford. Don’t get into debt. Keep track of your finances and focus your spend on what’s important to the two of you. Decide your wedding priorities and make your wedding a personal celebration of your love.

And whenever you pick up a wedding magazine, remember it’s a business — wedding publications, press and events are all designed to make you spend money!

2. The boredom factor

Just ask your guy about this one. Weddings have the potential to be pretty samey — much as we try to set ours apart by being just a little bit bigger, better, quirkier. The expectations we have for weddings: that the venue will be decorated, that you’ll wear an expensive dress, that there’ll be a nice meal for everyone — are limiting. These are nice things to have — but there’s nothing wrong with a wedding that doesn’t have all of this, is there?

And wedding planning can be a chore. That’s why men steer clear! Few grooms choose to spend endless weekends ordering stationery, flowers, favours and the hundreds of little things we’re pressured to organise. For a couple of weeks I imagine it’s fun. But every weekend for a year or more… must be a killer, and post-wedding stress is the proof.

Have your colleagues told you to stop talking about the wedding yet? Has your fiance asked the same thing? Sometimes stress can get too much for brides — it’s no-one’s fault. Just don’t let wedding planning stress kill the romance. Take time out and forget about your wedding plans every once in a while!

Why do people think weddings are all a bit samey? Because we’re not looking past the decorations. Weddings can be so dolled-up we can hardly see the loving couple behind all the ribbons and tulle. They might look  samey. But really they’re not! We want to see you, share in your love, enjoy your personalities. Guests don’t come for the favours or the band: guests come to your wedding for YOU. So don’t hide yourself behind frills and frivolities — it’s not what weddings are about: they’re about being in love. And that’s something we all do in our own unique way.

Fix it!

Focus on your love, not your decorations.

photo credit: Mark Tierney

Get creative with your thinking as well as with your wedding invitations. My cousin’s friend had a night time wedding (handfasting) in December. Get married at night, and suddenly the usual formulas don’t apply: you get to do whatever you like with the food, the dancing, the order of the day. And planning is more fun if it’s creative.

You don’t need to get married at night to make things interesting, but knowing that someone did should open your eyes to the possibilities: break a few wedding rules. Even your fiance might be keen to plan with you, if it’s going to be fun!

3. Being judged on your wedding

I watched ‘4 weddings’ — but only once. The premise: four brides go to each other’s weddings, award marks out of ten and win a prize. The most disgusting concept in the wedding industry of today, if you ask me!

It’s a reflection of how people can be, though, and real pressure comes from wanting people to like your wedding. The sad fact is that people do judge: is your wedding smaller, more ostentatious, busier, more traditional than your friend’s was last year? Will your aunty be telling her neighbours, “I didn’t think much of the cake”?!

We’re all too quick to judge. Part of the problem is being fed so many real weddings, in the press, via wedding blogs and on telly. We’re supposed to say ‘I like that one, love her dress, what a lovely theme’ — fine.

Fix it!

Just don’t be tempted to say ‘Her dress is dull, I don’t like her hair, such-and-such looks cheap.’ Because that’s NOT an ok thing to do. If you’re in the habit of judging other weddings (as the wedding tv companies want you to!) you’ll expect yours to be judged, and you’ll worry about it.

And if you have a particular guest who you think will judge or criticise your wedding, scratch their name off your list right now!

4. Weddings are for girls

Can you imagine walking into WHSmiths and seeing the wedding magazine section — and it being blue instead of pink? No? Ever seen grooms jostling for the latest issue of Wedding Ideas? Been on a mainstream wedding forum full of grooms? No. Me neither.

Why is the wedding industry so horribly pink? Why do we alienate grooms from everything weddingy? They’re just as in love as we are, aren’t they? Is the industry putting them off?

That’s a big fat YES from me. And it leaves me feeling so frustrated. It might even be a subconscious thing, this overuse of lipgloss colour schemes — but it appears as if the groom shouldn’t be involved. And that’s so wrong!

By excluding the boys with our magazines, our marketing campaigns, our blogs and promotions — pretty much everything we do — we’re piling everything onto girls. And here’s where a lot more pressure comes into it.

The modern wedding is a pink-fest, a celebration of making things pretty rather than a celebration of being in love, which is the one bit which does include the groom. And grooms step right away from the planning: after a wedding fair or two it’s no surprise if they think “I’m not welcome in pink-land, I’ll come back for the bit where I can be in love again.”

- Interestingly, if you go to a wedding show this month you might notice the overall decor of the show is pink and flowery, yet exhibitors’ stands are less so. I’ve often got the impression that it’s the organisers of shows, and not individual wedding suppliers who want everything to look pretty in pink. Exhibitors and suppliers welcome grooms… but pink ads for shows, pink covers on wedding magazines don’t!

Meanwhile brides have the world heaped on their shoulders. Without the groom to share wedding planning 50/50 all the responsibilities for booking, planning, crafting and budgeting fall to the bride. Is it any surprise some girls turn into bridezillas, and others suffer from depression both before and after the wedding day?

Fix it!

Start your planning together, and it’ll be easier to keep on working as a team. It’s not about involving your groom in decisions; it’s about appreciating they’re his decisions as much as they are yours to make.

Remember you’re a couple and your wedding should be about you both. If he doesn’t like pink, don’t use any. If he doesn’t care about colour schemes at all, work out what is important to him and make that a priority instead. Who says the napkins have to match the bridesmaids’ knickers anyway?

Most of all, neither of you should feel excluded from your wedding — and you should both want to be involved. If he doesn’t, try and understand why, then work out between you what will fix it for you.

5. Wedding professionals are rubbish

(I’d better just explain that one!) Some of us are lovely. But if you’ve been to a wedding show you’ll have met some of the same slimy, false, smooth-talking professional salespeople I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. There’s at least one at every local hotel-based wedding show. There are many of these frankly scary people at the major wedding shows.

I heard a story about a bridal store owner discussing options for wedding shows. There are two major shows in the Cheshire / Manchester area. Tatton Park is seen as the posh one, and this bridal store owner was keen to exhibit. Her charming views on the wedding show at Manchester G-Mex? “Too many fat brides.”

I wish I could publish her business name without being sued. Suffice it to say this is the kind of professionalism which lurks behind some of the flimsy smiles at wedding shows. We really should be past prejudice and discrimination like this — but we’re not. And while money is driving the wedding industry relentlessly along, smarmy salespeople will stay in the game and take advantage as much as they can.

It’s not just the big shiny companies who carelessly chase your spendy-buttons. It’s guys with cameras who think  it’s easy to be a wedding photographer, brides who decide to set up shop on eBay making cheap, flimsy invites because Aunty Joan said theirs were pretty. But a business requires dedication, training, talent and commitment to customers as well as to a long term strategy.

There really are people in the wedding industry who will take you for a ride and shake you upside down until all your money’s fallen out. Beware startup businesses who don’t seem professional — many aren’t. It’s really, really easy to set up a wedding business. Websites are free. Anyone can set up something that looks a little bit good, and get enquiries from forums, blogs, magazine ads and wedding shows. But what if the business folds? What if the workload is too much alongside a full time job? Because it does happen.

The dodgy businesses make the rest of us look bad. It makes me angry because some startup businesses are the most dedicated, honourable and inspiring people you could ever meet. And every one of us in the wedding industry began somewhere — we weren’t born with experience and business skills. For a genuine, devoted designer starting out in business, it doesn’t get much worse than standing next to a smarmy, patronising suit salesman at a wedding show — trust me! Starting out and becoming a success is hard.

Fix it!

Use your instincts. Meet suppliers. Use your heart to find suppliers you trust and get along with, someone who listens to you and inspires you, someone who cares about their business and appreciates how important your wedding is.

Use your head. Investigate your photographer’s background and experience; ask on wedding forums for genuine recommendations for stationers and jewellers. Find online reviews of your wedding suppliers before you book — if anything doesn’t ring true, ask!

Contracts for wedding suppliers are essential. If a photographer doesn’t have one, warning bells should ring. The same goes for your major suppliers: cake designers, florists, wedding planners, bands and venues.

Talk about what happens after the wedding day. Photographers, for example, will still be working on your images and albums to show you. How long will it take? How good are they at customer service?

Cheap can mean nasty. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. A professional business won’t undersell their product — if they believe in what they’re trying to sell you, the price will reflect that.

The solution is simple — though perhaps easier said than done. If we stop buying from unprofessional wedding suppliers, they’ll go away. The wedding industry has a lot of work to do in raising standards. Perhaps the rise of social media, the importance of publicly Liking things and the ease of sharing online reviews will help towards getting shot of the bad guys.

A final word on this one: if you’ve had fantastic service from a wedding supplier, if someone deserves to be publicly praised, if you can help other brides by telling them about your florist / cake designer / photographer then please: write an online review. Whether it’s on their blog, facebook page or google place page, every review will help someone out there.

6. The wedding magazines are wrong

Where do I begin with wedding magazines? I don’t like them. I’ve read plenty, advertised in a handful, been criticised for slagging them off, and reviewed them in detail to see if I was being overly critical. Turns out, while they have a few good points I still don’t like what they stand for, how they operate, or the influence they have on brides and the wedding industry.

Wedding magazines make an absolute fortune from advertising. They have a huge proportion of advertising space (on average, 139 pages of ads per wedding magazine!) — and that’s not counting the product ‘ideas’, most of which are provided by their advertisers and show prices. Like catalogues. How do they justify the cover price for what’s essentially a very pretty wedding industry sales brochure?

I’ve advertised with wedding magazines. It’s expensive. You pay your money, you get your (small) ad, you can submit your product images for features. Alongside the other hundred or so advertisers. There’s no guarantee it will work — and for many wedding suppliers, it doesn’t. Often their advertising teams are sales teams: they’re given the stats they need to sell advertising space, but if your advertising doesn’t work for you they can’t help other than by giving you more space (at a price!).

There’s also criticism of the wedding magazines for being bland, uninspiring and expensive to buy. I’m more hesitant to agree with that: in the issues I reviewed for English Wedding there were features by Rock My Wedding and some quirky ideas in there. But overwhelmingly, the wedding magazines are about how your wedding will LOOK and what you should buy to achieve a certain look. There’s no balance with advice, emotional support, discussion or articles about marriage.

The last thing I dislike about wedding magazines is that they’re seen as required reading by so many brides. In the age of the internet I’d love to see more brides saving their money and finding free wedding inspiration and advice online: not just from blogs, but from local wedding websites, even the magazines’ own sites (which in my opinion are better than their printed pages!) and wedding forums.

Fix it!

This wedding industry issue’s an easy one to fix: only buy wedding magazines selectively. Don’t subscribe! They’re great for occasionally curling up on your sofa with, especially at the dress-shopping stage. But if you ask me, one issue is all you ever really need.

7. Wedding shows and fairs / fayres are so dull!

It’s a rare bride who’ll enjoy more than a handful of wedding shows. Don’t get me wrong, the shows do serve a purpose — but if the organisers extracted their heads from their bottoms most of the shows would improve.

Again it’s about money: every exhibitor at a big show will have paid thousands for the privilege. Even at a small fayre (a word we invented — it wasn’t used in the olden days, fact-fans!) exhibitors will have paid over £100 for their table for the day. As a bride, don’t think you’re the focus of wedding show organisers: you’re far from the most important person to visit a show because you don’t bring the money.

So wedding shows are big business. They should be all about inspiring the bride; instead they’re all about persuading you to spend. It’s not all bad though: there’s no better place to meet potential wedding suppliers. You can peruse photographers’ albums, chat to planners, get to know essential suppliers who’ll be there on your wedding day. And it’s hugely important to meet these people.

Unfortunately you’ll meet some smarmy wedding suppliers at shows. Never feel pressured into buying on the day: make appointments, not promises. And while some wedding shows are great, forward-thinking and genuinely inspiring, others can be dull, drab and depressing. Be warned!

Fix it!

Have realistic expectations when you visit a wedding show! Find out who’ll be there, decide your budget and priorities before you go. Aim to make appointments if you like the suppliers you see: never buy on the day.

Research wedding shows before you go. The big arena events will be insanely busy, especially on Saturday afternoons. You’ll at least get a chance to talk to people if you go early. If a wedding show looks a bit old fashioned and you don’t think that’s really you, don’t go unless there’s an exhibitor you really want to meet.

If a wedding show has a feedback form, fill it in honestly. It’s often a nice little trick for the organisers to give you a competition entry form so they can get your contact details. If they ask for your opinion on the show too, let them know what you think!

8. The truth about wedding industry events and awards

2012 should be a great year for the wedding industry with the launch of the 2012 Wedding Industry Awards. Previously awards have been dished out by the industry, to the industry — like a great big slap on the back / pat on the head (depending how you see them) from other suppliers.

It’s quite a novelty for brides to be the key decision makers where wedding awards are concerned! Previously the major wedding award ceremonies (remaining nameless ) have been open to votes from suppliers. And if twitter is anything to go by, suppliers have cast the vast majority of votes. For each other, based on friendships and social networking.

What this all means for brides is a bit of a misleading picture. The ‘best’ businesses as identified by major award-givers are just the most popular. An award might mean they spend more time on facebook and twitter than anyone else. It’s no indication of quality, customer service, experience, or anything else that you’d think would make a business worthy of a pink rosette. (oops.)

Fix it!

Support the 2012 Wedding Industry Awards. They’re based on genuine customer feedback. The voting process was rigorous, and businesses made the shortlist on the strength of fabulous customer reviews.

Look for the winners when you’re searching for wedding suppliers. They will be genuinely respected by brides for their commitment, customer service and dedication to what they do.

As for the rest: don’t believe the hype.

9. Wedding planning stress and depression

Wedding planning stress is a serious issue, and one I don’t want to treat lightly. The combination of money worries, planning dilemmas, family arguments and no me-time can cause depression — and it does, all too often.

It’s very much down to our lovely little wedding industry: the pressures on brides are just too much. Most brides have never planned anything on such a grand scale, and with so much emotional importance: The Best Day Of Your Life carries such responsibility.

Arguments in the run up to a wedding are common. You might grow apart because you’re so busy — you won’t be the first couple to struggle with this and there should be more support out there.

I’ve heard on the grapevine there’s major research being done into post-wedding stress: it’s so common for a bride to focus all her attentions and energy on the big day, and to end up feeling empty and disappointed the day after the wedding. It’s understandable — and if you’re feeling this way there is plenty of help with stress to be found.

Fix it!

Firstly, watch out for each other. If you or your fiance are showing signs of stress, be there for each other. Help. Be understanding. If you’re living with a bride– or groomzilla, think about what’s changed their behaviour.

I went to the NHS (via google) for some advice. These are common signs of stress:

• tiredness, headaches, aching muscles
• indigestion and nausea
• palpitations, sweating, fainting
• lack of concentration
• being muddled or forgetful
• feeling inadequate or having low self esteem
• becoming irritable or angry
• feeling anxious or numb
• being oversensitive

Any of these could be perceived as ‘normal’ but it’s still important to take care of yourself: these are your body’s warning signs to slow down a bit. You should.

It’s not for me to tell you how to cope with wedding-related stress. There’s plenty of advice online — I’ll share a few links below. Consider talking to your doctor as well.

www.stress.org.uk/Dealing-with-stress

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Stress/Pages/Treatment

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotional_health/mental_health/mind_stress

Is the wedding industry a lost cause?

Awareness of the issues and speaking openly about some of the industry’s problems has to be the first step towards fixing all that’s wrong with the wedding industry. It’s certainly not all champagne and roses!

It frustrates me that there’s so much money associated with weddings. It makes me sad to hear about all the pressures the wedding industry heaps onto brides.

I’m disappointed when I read reviews of bland wedding fairs, pushy suppliers and dull wedding magazines.

We can all help to bring change to this industry: brides, grooms, suppliers, editors and bloggers alike. Personally I love to help promote small, creative businesses on my blog. And as I’ve been writing this post I’ve looked at English Wedding’s colour scheme, and changed some pink bits to blue! (little things can help!)

If we say what we really think, have open discussions about the bits we don’t like, dare to criticise Wedding TV and revel in just being in love — I think we can make the wedding industry a nicer place.

What do you think?

Planning a wedding — it must be one of the hardest projects in a girl’s life! Second to A-Levels, wedding planning must take so much time and effort — I honestly don’t know how you all do it. For some of you, wedding planners will be the answer. But did you know there’s a very affordable way to get a wedding planner’s knowledge in your own head? Over to Julie Dawson aka The Wedding Genie to tell you more…

Bridal Workshops 12th February and 25th March: Plan Like a Professional

• Have you just got engaged or know a friend who has?
• Don’t know where to start with your wedding planning?
• How are you going to capture your dream wedding with the budget that’s available?
• Are you struggling to keep your wedding budget from spiralling or worse haven’t even set one?

Take a deep breath! The Wedding Genie is here to help. Spend a fun and practical morning with me learning how to plan your perfect day, without running up your own contribution to the national debt. Meeting other brides just like you swapping ideas and at some of my workshops addresses! There is nothing like a bit of support.

Come as a couple or bring your Mum, your bridesmaid, or a friend to enjoy the time with you at a discounted rate.

Weddings are a huge investment (the average being £20,000!), for an investment that size my class is an affordable, fun easy way, to gain expert help and guidance. You’ll learn to create the wedding of your dreams, which is personal to you and your budget. It’s not about the money it’s about how you spend it. It’s creating a wedding that is totally in tune with you without stress or anxiety.

Learn how to save money by being in the know.

Included In The Bridal Workshop is:

• Choosing your venue
• Theme and Styling ideas
• Money saving tips and staying organised
• Choosing and managing suppliers
• Negotiating to make savings!
• Wedding Etiquette
• Top tips for a stress free big day and how to survive wedding planning
• Q&A session with an expert wedding planner

You’ll leave feeling confident and well prepared for your wedding planning. Take home go away with The Wedding Genie’s wedding planning tools FREE and a Wedding Genie Goody bag too — details are on the Wedding Genie website.

Reviews: Bridal Workshops by the Wedding Genie

“It was invaluable. We felt it was very good value for money in terms of the information we received.”

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It’s very easy to book, just visit The Wedding Genie website to see full details and book  online.

Bridal Workshop Gift Vouchers

If your friend or daughter has recently got engaged and you are stuck for an engagement present what better way to help her on the road to wedding planning that with a gift voucher for a place on The Bridal Workshop. The Wedding Genie will send it gift wrapped with your compliments.

About The Wedding Genie

Julie Dawson is the wedding planner behind www.theweddinggenie.co.uk. Her website is full of fantastic advice for brides and grooms and her writing shows just how dedicated she is to wedding planning and helping brides and grooms.

“I have been trained by Magic Dust and the UK Wedding Alliance because it’s important to ensure my brides receive a professional service, check out my philosophy and how I work and read why using a Wedding Planner can be vital.

“If you feel I can help in any way just give me a call, even if you only want a question answering I am very willing to help, contact us, or click here to see what service I can offer you. We are based in Staffordshire but regularly work throughout the Uk covering areas such as, The Midlands, Staffordshire, Leicestershire, Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire.”

www.TheWeddingGenie.co.uk

This is a sponsored English Wedding blog post. (Click the link to see what this means.)

Two questions: who is a wedding day about? who is a wedding day for?

Instinct tells me (I’m writing quickly and from the top of my head) the day is about a bride and groom. But it’s for their friends and family (of which they are a part).

I think sometimes that’s lost. Sometimes there’s too much “your day, your way” going on. Your guests should be a part of your wedding day: not just spectators, rather very special people in your lives, and those you want to share in your happiness and enjoy it with you.

Here are some more pictures from Gail and Mark’s wedding which I featured yesterday. The focus this time around is on the wedding guests — captured so beautifully by documentary wedding photographer Martin Beddall.

Imagine a story: a proper story, written by an author, in a book and everything. Any wonderful story which grips your heart, makes you laugh and cry and think. It’s by someone (the author), it’s about someone (the bride and groom) and it’s written for someone (the reader).

You’re the author.

Your wedding will be by you. You’re the author, the designer, the one in control who decides how your story will unfold.

You’re the hero and heroine.

The wedding day is all about you. Getting married is a huge event in your lives. The focus of the story is you.

Your guests are the readers.

Your wedding guests are there to watch your story unfold. There are no pages to turn, but they’ll smile and laugh and cry along with you on the day. They’ll admire your dress and enjoy precious moments with you, with each other too. As the author then, isn’t it your job to draw them in, to involve them, to make them feel a part of your story? To have them leave your wedding day with lasting memories, feeling elated, glad they came?

Because a great author creates a rapport with her reader. A great author makes the reader feel as though they’re in the story.

So wedding guests everywhere: this one’s for you. This is how special you are. A wedding isn’t a show put on to entertain you. It’s a celebration you’re invited to share in. It’s all about love, and you’re there because you’re loved.

A wise man once said, “Good photography is about storytelling – it’s as simple as that.“

I have to say I agree.

Have a good day everyone, brides, grooms and guests.

Claire xxx

Sometimes people just know so much more stuff than I do! Today, great advice in a guest blog post — and some lovely pics which might just have you hooked on pearls to go with your wedding dress…

Weddings are invariably a puzzle of selecting many different elements to suit the occasion…..the dress, the venue, the guests, the jewellery. They’ve all got their part to play and here we will look at how to choose the perfect pearl jewellery to wear at your wedding. Regardless of whether you merely opt for an understated pair of pearl earrings or match a number of different types of pearl jewellery – from bracelets to necklaces, this guide introduces you to how you should wear pearl jewellery on your most special of days.

One way of doing this is to consider the different seasons and winter weddings are perhaps the most suitable for introducing colour to the atmosphere that a winter wedding provokes in the bride, groom and guests. So which types of pearls are best for wearing at a summer and winter wedding?

Freshwater Pearls

One of the most popular and sought after forms of wedding jewellery, freshwater pearls are one of the most stylish and affordable forms of pearls available. Freshwater pearls come in many different styles such as pendants, bracelets, necklaces and earrings and you should be able to find something that matches your choice of wedding dress superbly – just check out the pearl necklace below to see how classic freshwater pearls can be in white:

South Sea Pearls

Silvery white pearls from the South Seas and are stunning and luxurious. Their colour also makes them ideal for winter weddings as they reflect the icy hues of the season superbly. There are many fantastic examples of white pearl earrings and necklaces that will truly elevate a bride’s choice of dress to a whole new level of style and sophistication. Something as simple as the white pearl pendant below will serve as the perfect fashion accessory to a winter wedding:

The above examples of pearl jewellery are fine examples of the sort of accessories which are simply ideal for a traditional white wedding but what if you’ve got a more colourful wedding planned? Well, consider the luxury pearl jewellery styles below:

Akoya Pearl Jewellery

This iconic cultured pearl originated from Japan and unquestionably boasts the sort of understated beauty and elegance, which makes it the perfect choice for a bride looking for accessories for their wedding. In terms of matching the choice of wedding dress, it may be a good idea to consider a white Akoya pearl pendant or earrings with a splash of colour from gemstones such as rubies or sapphires – take a look at the stunning pearl earrings and pendant below:

Tahitian Pearls

These darker pearls are sourced from French Polynesia and look quite distinct from any other pearls found on the market. Their natural silver, grey and aubergine colours make them an exceptionally stylish and graceful accompaniment for wedding guests. Tahitian pearls are certainly one of the most contemporary types of pearl jewellery. You can see just how unique Tahitian pearls are by taking a look at the pearl bracelet and earrings below:

Weddings are a magnificent occasion and it stands to reason that the bride will want to look her very best – and the choice of jewellery that she wears will have an important bearing in helping her to achieve this. Pearl jewellery isn’t just an incredibly elegant form of jewellery, it is also one of the most attractive and suitable forms of jewellery that can be considered for a wedding through the year.

This article is supplied by Winterson Pearl Jewellery.

Having lived in Italy for a little while when I was 20ish, I know how it feels to move to another country, to embark on an adventure — so when Italian wedding planner Silvia shared her story with me I had to offer her a guest spot on English Wedding blog to tell you all about it. Exciting times — and a warm welcome to Silvia Bargagni…

“Weddings are all about love. And love does not come only from the couple’s side, believe me.

My name is Silvia Bargagni and I’m Magnolia Wedding Planner, a wedding planner and coordinator in Florence, Italy. And I do love weddings.

Having been a wedding planner for 6 years now I can tell you that a really good coordinator is one who puts their heart and soul into each wedding. I absolutely love every single bit of this “wedding-world” that I have decided to take some important steps in my life.

I have always been a wedding planner for both Italian and foreign couples, with my base office in Florence but working not only in Tuscany but also in the Lake Como area and all northern Italy.

I plan and organize all types of weddings from civil, religious and symbolic ceremonies along with receptions and wedding parties. Since last year I’ve added a personalised wedding design service which I love doing too!

All budgets can be satisfied, there’s no anonymous packages or cold costumer service for me: everything must be created from the start by talking with my couples, working and dreaming together.

But what is the next step for Magnolia Wedding Planner?

Well… most of my couples were and are from the UK and Ireland… let’s say 80%. That’s a pretty high percentage isn’t it?

So now it’s time to give back all the English and Irish love I’ve received for so many years and what can be better than getting nearer to them? Opening a English branch is the way.

Trust me, it has not been easy to convince myself as it’s an important step not only in my career but mainly in my life. I have asked all my friends and relatives for their opinions and suggestions, and everything was getting even more confused — until I asked my ex brides.

They were so enthusiastic about this idea all my worries and doubts just faded away — so here I am. I’m really proud to confirm that from 2012 I’ll be both in Italy and in London, I’m so thrilled!

I hope it will be really helpful for all my lovely couples to have someone who was born in Italy and who knows Italy really well and who works there coordinating everything on site but on the other hand can be met personally in an London office to talk to directly. Combining the two aspects can really be the perfect solution. Great steps but… yes this is all about love, the love I feel for my job.

Can’t wait to get there, can you feel good vibes too?

Last but not least I have to thank Claire for this great opportunity to write on her amazing and classy blog that I adore and follow continously, thank you so much I feel so honoured! [my pleasure Silvia — it’s lovely to hear about your adventure!]

I appreciate so much this lovely blog as it’s so easy, so detailed, so full of fantastic photos and ideas that I really have fallen in love with it, can you blame me?”

Are you thinking of getting married in Italy? I’d love to hear about your plans. And you can visit Silvia’s website for more information at www.magnoliaweddingplanner.com to find out more about her services.

Follow Silvia’s wedding planning blog with me to hear more about her adventures (for non-Italian speakers, there’s a link at the top to translate it!). Silvia — welcome to the UK. Best of luck with everything!

Mine is. There you go — let’s start a blog post with a confession! My wedding calligraphy business is going well, I love the work but… there’s something missing. Is anyone else out there looking for a bit of creative inspiration to inject into their work?

I’ve spent the day with two friends who inspire me — and I’m going to make my New Year’s Resolution now. I know it’s a bit early (but the pagan side of me says the first of December is surely something a bit new-yeary in the calendar). I’m determined to branch out a little.

So — wedding calligraphy is the most wonderful job in the world. It’s creative and pretty and I meet lovely people who appreciate my work. Lots of nice boxes ticked and a smile on my face, and theirs! I still feel I want more though.

How do you know when it’s time to get your business out of a creative rut?

• you know you can do more, but just don’t seem to have the time
• you admire others’ designs and creativity and wish you could be like them
• you feel quietly satisfied with what you do, but not thrilled or surprised by what you achieve
• financially, you’re ok: you can afford to take a day or two off and experiment with something new

Am I the only one? Have you been in a rut with your wedding business? Climbed out of one?

My New Year’s Resolution

It’s time to get creative. My friend Nia is playing with beautiful lettering and word art, which I love. My friend Jo has set up a little base for her wedding business in a beautiful new home — it’s a gorgeous space full of pretty things, full of potential for projects and creating stuff. Just by being with these two I’ve decided on my new year’s resolutions:

• I’m going to make big, exciting, colourful calligraphy art
• I’ll experiment with textures and sparkles and have lots of fun
• I’m — ooh! not sure about this yet… I’m thinking about an Etsy shop to sell little versions of my work outside the UK.
• It’s playtime.

I’d love to hear your experiences of being in a rut and getting out! Or if you’re in a similar situation, do you have an escape plan? Please share — I’m really curious about anyone else’s stories!

Lots of love,

Claire xxx

Because English Wedding blog focuses on weddings close to home, there isn’t much opportunity to venture to exotic locations or to ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ at fabulous destinations. However… as it’s so cold outside, and we’re all wrapped up in scarves and thermals this month, I thought it was time to talk honeymoons! This is a guest blog post — I hope you enjoy it.

For many couples postulating and pondering over where to go on their honeymoon can be a tricky task and more often than not the last thing on their minds is the perceived rough and tumble of an African safari. Indeed usually those first envisaged flashes of inspiration are embodied by three simple elements; a wide swathe of powder white sand, the warmth of an unbroken sun-filled sky and the gentle lapping waters of a gin-clear tropical ocean. Quite the picture postcard; and who am I to argue that this Robinson Crusoe-esque idyll isn’t the perfect way to celebrate a loving new union?

A growing number of newlyweds are however beginning to move away from this kind of archetypical encounter and are looking to explore a range of more unique and more adventurous honeymoon ideas. One of the most popular of these new experiences is that of the African safari and a leading proponent of this honeymoon revolution is specialist African tour operator, Mahlatini. Meaning ‘lover of Africa’ in Swahili, Mahlatini offer an eclectic range of African tours and safari holidays across the subcontinent, from Mountain Gorilla trekking in Uganda to hot air ballooning across the deserts of Namibia.

Southern Africa remains one of the most culturally and geographically diverse regions on the planet. A place of startling contrasts where the looming grandeur of Table Mountain is juxtaposed against the bustling streets and fashionable restaurants of Cape Town; where the ancient and the modern coalesce and where nature and culture intermingle to produce a truly unforgettable cocktail of sights, sounds and smells.

From the wide open plains of Tanzania and Kenya to the central plateaus of Botswana and Zambia; the lush forests of Uganda to the still waters of Lake Malawi there is something here to suit every taste and temperament.

We often think of a honeymoon as the most memorable holiday of our lives, an escape from the realities of the every day and a way to not only galvanise the new bonds of marriage but also to leave behind the stresses of wedding planners, venues, seating arrangements and the many other rigours that contribute to the big day. An African safari honeymoon certainly promises an experience quite unlike any other; the beauty and the drama of the vast and changeable landscape; the warmth and hospitality of the local people and the opportunity to see some of the planet’s most iconic wildlife free and unfettered in their natural environment.

Safaris for some may conjure images of rickety tents, unyieldingly rigid camp beds and less than inspiring cuisine. Such is the evolution of the African tourism industry though that today some of the most lauded and exclusive accommodation in the world can be found nestled amongst the savannahs and forests across this region, culminating this year with Travel + Leisure Magazine’s World Best Hotels list which in the top five featured properties all situated in Southern Africa.

Neither however, does that mean that a safari honeymoon has to break the bank and in fact destinations such as South Africa have never been so affordable. Following the crowds and higher prices drawn by last year’s Football World Cup, 2011 and the years proceeding promise stable and relatively low prices (which especially in the wake of Europe’s single currency conundrum) means that you can still get more for your pound.

But what if you don’t subscribe to the concept of a safari and you would much rather just relax and appreciate the peace and recuperative powers of a honeymoon? Of course not every tour in Southern Africa has to involve wildlife and Mahlatini offers a range of tailored packages from wine tasting in the valleys of South Africa to cruising around the rugged Cape coastline or embracing the sheer scale of the vast Victoria Falls. But if after all that you are still left yearning for the escape of a coastal retreat fear not as Mahlatini are also a leading operator to the Indian Ocean Islands. So whether you want to unwind uninterrupted on a remote beach in the Seychelles, Mauritius, the Maldives or Zanzibar or even combine a safari with an island stay to produce the ultimate twin centre honeymoon, the choice is entirely yours.