No. 2: Being Too Organised and The Bridesmaid Dilemma

Days to go: 78

I chose and pur­chased my shoes for the wed­ding in April 2010 — 19 months before the big day! Now these aren’t a prob­lem because I knew these were the shoes for me (even though one of the brides­maids wanted to bet me £10 that I’d change my mind) — and I knew the dress I was going to choose would match per­fectly (even if it would be in a non-matching but match­ing any­way sense!).

Here are the beau­ties — Irreg­u­lar Choice Cortesan:

So in May 2010 I pur­chased the brides­maid dresses. (The men­tion of the shoes will make sense in a few moments.) I’d decided a while back on a black and ivory theme (despite grow­ing up always imag­in­ing hav­ing red brides­maid dresses) and whilst in town with my Maid of Hon­our, Kather­ine, we walked casu­ally into Coast and our eyes imme­di­ately were drawn to this — the Har­mony Maxi Dress in monochrome:

We were hooked. How per­fect is this ele­gant dress for the ele­gant sur­round­ings of a cas­tle? I thought. So, we bought them. One for my sis­ter and one for Kather­ine, and it was done. Brides­maid dresses AND brides shoes BEFORE my dress. (Doesn’t seem very log­i­cal when I think about it now…)

Now if you’re won­der­ing why I hadn’t even looked at dresses for ME yet — I had a breast reduc­tion in March 2010, so had to wait until June before I was healed enough to find a dress!

So, when I found my dress (which is for another day), these dresses were per­fect. The right colour, ele­gant, and beau­ti­ful. I’d dis­cov­ered I wanted to add another brides­maid some­time around Octo­ber 2010 — the best man’s girl­friend and a very good friend of mine, Fiona, but these dresses were com­pletely sold out — EVERYWHERE! So I lost hope until one day in Novem­ber, I hap­pened to be in Cheshire Oaks out­let vil­lage and there it was, the right dress in the right size for my new third brides­maid — and at only half the orig­i­nal price! Bar­gain. Sold! I had my three brides­maids. My sis­ter, an old friend, and a new friend.

So there these dresses were, sat in my wardrobe, wait­ing for their moment, and I couldn’t help won­der­ing (dur­ing my real­i­sa­tions about les­son one: don’t let the theme or feel of the wed­ding be dic­tated by where you choose to get mar­ried!) — are these dresses really right? They were start­ing to feel a bit too for­mal, a bit too ele­gant — and I didn’t want my brides­maids feel­ing stiff on the day. I want my pho­tos to be fun and hilar­i­ous — not the kind you see where peo­ple are lin­ing up forc­ing a smile through the stiff­ness of their posh dresses!

I was out for a drink with Kather­ine one night and this is the gist of the con­ver­sa­tion we had (here is where the shoes come in!):

Kather­ine: “Oooh we need to start think­ing about brides­maid shoes. I’ve got some in mind that I could wear though if I can’t find any.“
Salma: “Oooh imag­ine if you all wore slightly crazy shoes like mine!“
Kather­ine: “Yeah it’s a great idea but I don’t think they’d go with the dresses.“
Salma: “You’re right — I’ve been think­ing recently about get­ting all the dresses altered and mak­ing them shorter, maybe knee length.. and then maybe mak­ing them into a 50s style prom dress! I know it’s ridicu­lous right?“
Kather­ine: “No it’s not ridicu­lous! Although the dresses would prob­a­bly look ridicu­lous… They’re Gre­cian god­dess dresses.“
Salma: “Why… don’t… we… change… the… dresses.… and go for some 50s style prom dresses?!“
Kather­ine: “OMG what an amaz­ing idea!“
Salma: “I mean, I’ve been hav­ing doubts for a while — those dresses were per­fect at the time — but since my epiphany of real­is­ing I can do what­ever I want and the dresses any­one wears don’t have to COORDINATE WITH THE CASTLE… maybe it’s the right thing to do?“
Kather­ine: “And your wed­ding and your brides­maids are meant to be a reflec­tion of your­self. Would you even wear that dress in real life?“
Salma: “Er… no, not really. It’s not my style.“
Kather­ine: ” Then I’m game if you are!”

Almost a year after we thought we’d cho­sen the dresses — I’d decided to go with my instincts and change my brides­maid dresses and do what I’ve always wanted to do but didn’t think I could — have each brides­maid in a dif­fer­ent dress! And you’ll see soon that the new dresses make my dress look even bet­ter — and these new dresses are so rock ‘n’ roll — which echoes our music theme — and makes me so much happier!

The new dresses — all by Vivien of Hol­loway (and all shoe sug­ges­tions are Irreg­u­lar Choice like mine!)

Kather­ine will be in red with white polka dots, my sis­ter in plain black, and Fiona in black with white polka dots! One down­side though — I am going to be SO jeal­ous of my brides­maids wear­ing those dresses! (I have a sim­i­lar dress in royal blue with polka dots already and I LOVE IT!)

So les­son num­ber two:

Be organ­ised — but not too organised!

Take time to think about reflect­ing your­self in each part of the wed­ding — and don’t buy some­thing a year in advance because you think it is per­fect at the time. My opin­ions and style change on a monthly basis — let alone every year! And, in my opin­ion, it’s more excit­ing to start buy­ing things closer to the wed­ding date!  I never thought I’d be brave enough to change my mind on these — but I’m so glad I did!

P.S. There are still two of the old dresses listed on eBay… I really need to sell them in order to buy the third dress and all the pet­ti­coats. I’m get­ting ner­vous that they won’t sell! So if you read­ers know any­one who’s always wanted that dress… Ok enough shame­less plugging!