As part of my train of thought that I’m loosely calling “Get Grounded”… Forgetting about weddings for a minute, I got to thinking: what is a marriage then? I do think the wedding industry has lost perspective. Big time.
Marriage is just two people in love. Your basic boy / girl or any combination of the two. Once you have those two things, it’s down to personal opinion. How should your marriage be recognised? If you’re religious it’s easy: your church will have rules to follow. If you’re not, it’s your choice to have a legal ceremony or not. For me — not. I live with my guy, and I suppose we’re a lifelong partnership, for better for worse… which in my mind makes us married.
An unusual perspective? Yes. But it’s mine. And boy was it value for money to set up.
Registry office ceremonies and certificates make your marriage legal… but these days you can live together, change your surname, have kids all without a marriage certificate. Does it make your marriage real having that certificate or ceremony? Depends how you look at it. And I’m not going to answer that for anyone else but myself.
So. The necessities: a partner, and if it matters to you, a religious or legal ceremony. And it goes without saying you should have love and all that entails.
That’s marriage. A wedding is the celebration of that. It can be whatever you want it to be. As a wedding blogger I need to think about my role in fuelling the fire of expensive weddings… is it hypocritical to write about luxurious weddings and show you gorgeous photos of expensive details every day, sat here with two step-kids and no ring on my finger? I don’t think so… but it’ll be interesting writing about my thoughts on marriage & weddings, so stick around and keep reading English Wedding’s Get Grounded pages.
Don’t forget to let me know what you think — comments forms are for you to share your thoughts and I love it when you do.
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Claire You big hypocrite!!! *joking*
Each to their own I say. Where relationships are concerned, all the traditional rules and regulations have been broken and boundaries have been pushed, which leaves a lot more room for people to do what makes them happy!
I find it really interesting how everyone has different ideas on weddings and marriage. Depends a lot on your experiences growing up I think. For example, i’m not religious but I refuse to live with my boyfriend because I want to get married. To elaborate a little… if I marry I want the wedding day itself to symbolise a real change in my way of life; the start of a new adventure! Otherwise I wonder whether it’s just a big party?
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Thanks for your comment Victoria! (Had me going for a minute…!!!)
I agree it’s really fascinating to see people’s different perspectives, I love your way of looking at things, it’s a new one on me but I absolutely understand where you’re coming from.
(PS thanks for using the comment luv thing… I now like you on Facebook. Lots.)
Wow! I have to reply to this. (Again) I am an event and wedding organiser and share all the dilemmas you are talking about so realistically around budgets. But I love your film and beautiful house analogy. If as I believe a wedding marks the point in time when commitment is marked for everyone you both love then where better to share that but in a place of luxury “just for one day” and save on the things your guests don’t notice. What do you think? It doesn’t have to cost even half the average nor the £0.5m that Posh and Becks paid.
Thanks Eleanor… that has definitely made me think. I write from a very personal point of view and with that in mind, a luxury venue wouldn’t be right for me… I guess it’s about not breaking anything, and perhaps about not fitting in — but only for me. You make a very good point and I love seeing couples’ wedding photos from stately homes… especially the really over the top decadent ones! Hopefully that doesn’t completely contradict what I wrote above — it’s definitely about YOU and what is important for you.